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After my doppler yesterday, the doctors agreed that the time had come to deliver the baby, that it was too risky to wait any longer. Marco Luis was born yesterday at 11:50am via c-section and weighed 1 lb 10 oz. It was very scary when he was pulled out of me as he did not cry. The NICU team started working on him right away. My husband was standing behind them as they were trying to stabilize him. After a few minutes, the NICU doctor came over to me and informed me that Marco's jaw was locked and they were therefore unable to intubate him. She said that the prognosis was very poor. They wisked him off to the NICU as my husband followed. My husband came back to me with the NICU doctor, ENT and social worker while I was in the recovery room. Marco was being kept alive by CPAP at that moment. They told us that the only option for him was a tracheostomy, however there was guarantee that it would work. Additionally, there were other problems with him (as suspected): his hands semi-closed, his posterior fontanelle (soft spot at the top of his head) was very large - which meant that there was a problem with his skull bones. His ears were also low-set and small. My husband and I considered everything and decided that the best option for Marco was to not do the tracheostomy and to let him go. Before he was born, we had decided that we would not want to take heroic measures to keep him alive considering all of the challenges he would have to face. In keeping with that decision, we knew that we were doing the right thing even though it was so very difficult. The doctors, nurses and social worker were all very supportive of our decision. While I was still in recovery, my husband had some alone time with Marco in the NICU while he was on CPAP. Also a priest came and did a baptism. They finally wheeled me down in my stretcher to the NICU. I was struck by how small Marco was. He looked like he was struggling to breath - even with the CPAP. He was wimpering. His feet were so small and perfect. We gave him a little bath and then were able to hold him for a little while (still on CPAP). At our request, they also gave him some Ativan to help make him a little more comfortable. When we were ready, they removed the CPAP from his nose and positioned him on his tummy laying on my bare chest with my gown covering him. I was wheeled back up to my room with him on my chest, my husband at my side. The NICU nurse practitioner came in our room about every 10 minutes to listen for his heartbeat. We laid together as Marco passed peacefully. We talked to him and kissed him. As difficult as it was, we did feel some peace. We know that he is with God in heaven now looking over us. He will forever live in our hearts as our son. We want to say thank you to everyone for all your love and support you've shared with us on our journey. We are so greatful.