Ok - it's finally time to put it out there. I'm pregnant :)
13 weeks 2 days. It's been a LONG 3 months so far. I really don't know if I had forgotten, or maybe just blocked out how long and hard a journey pregnancy after loss is. First thing's first...everything seems to be moving along just fine. My early HCG #s came back great (with Marco, they hadn't doubled like they should, every 48 hrs, but with Lucia, and now with this one, they did). I had an early sono at 6+ weeks, and the baby was measuring good and there was a heartbeat. My last appointment at 10 weeks went well and we were able to hear the heartbeat on the doppler. So - all signs are looking good thus far.
AND I still worry. But I suppose that this is the burden that comes with pregnancy after loss. The worry, the fear that something, ANYTHING, EVERYTHING could go wrong at any time. The fear hasn't been completely pervasive, but it's there. I'm trying to stay centered and positive. I have a good support network of friends and family, and I've also gone to a pregnancy after loss support group in my area, which is helpful. I've been repeating the mantra that the baby is healthy, growing and strong. I know the fear will be there until delivery day...so I just have to maybe kind of make friends with it a little, and in the meantime, keep the hope alive as well.
Perhaps the fact that it took a longer time for me to get pregnant this time around makes me feel even more vulnerable. The desire for this baby has been so strong...increasing over the last year or so. It's been a long journey to get here, and it wasn't easy. I was able to conceive just using Clomid, luckily...it was my 3rd cycle this go-around.
So, I wait, and I keep going. I remind myself that it's ok to worry, but at the same time not to let it overwhelm me. I've had a few moments of high anxiety due to things like....electrocuting myself the other day as I was unplugging a laptop power cord...I felt a buzz in my hand. I have electrocuted myself only once ever in my lifetime, that I can remember. And the second time it happens has to be when I'm 13 weeks pregnant?! I called my OB and she said I'm fine as long as I'm not feeling any other symptoms, which I wasn't. We did get a nick name for the baby out of the episode though - "Sparky" :) ...though Lucia says that she likes "Flower" as a nickname, haha.
Anyway - I needed to put this out there to my SYS support sistas finally. Though I have amazing support here with me, I need my Share support as well, as you guys have been there with me since the beginning of my journey toward motherhood. Here's to a blissfully uneventful next 7 months....early/mid-July, here we come!!
Marco, I know that must have given this little one special butterfly kisses before sending him/her to us, as you did your sister. We are so thankful to have an opportunity for another baby, never taking a second of this for granted. Thank you for always watching over us, my love.
Sending you good thoughts and praying that you'll somehow enjoy your pregnancy. I feel that your fears are normal and my prayer is the further you come along the more those fears will disappear. Congrats!!!!
Oh Libby! I'm so happy for you! I can imagine your fears are normal. Hoping for a blissful, uneventful pregnancy.
OMG!!!!!!! So stinking excited for you Libby!! So so so excited for you, this is awesome news. And gosh, yes, pregnancy after loss and infertility issues is just so nervewracking. Wishing you a happy and healthy full 40 weeks!!
YAY! Happy news!!! Congratulations Libby!!! Thank you for updating us non FB sistas:) Wishing you uneventful months ahead and calm however that comes. I bet Lucia is very excited as well. Looking forward to reading updates:)
Congratulations Libby! I'm so happy for you! I will be keeping you in my thoughts for a peaceful and healthy 7 more months.
So happy for you, congratulations! I am hoping this pregnancy is uneventful and peaceful for you and Bruno. Sending you tons of love and hugs.
YEAH!!!! Happy happy news! Sending many man positive thoughts your way to you and your baby. Nicki
Ah Libby - I am so happy for you! I have tears rolling down my face. The fear and anxiety is so understandable. We'll be here each and every day. Keeping you and your sweet family in my prayers.
Love and hugs,
Oh Libby, I am so happy for you that things are going well and completely understand your fears, your worries, your anxiety.
I hope these next seven months are long and boring for you and that Marco's and Lucia's little sibling is born a fat, healthy baby.
So much love to you!!!
Oh Libby!!! I'm crying. Seriously. I'm so happy for you and Bruno and Lucia. I too have to believe that Marco sent this sweet baby to you with his special kisses to carry this blessing safely into to your arms.
I have not walked your road of loss, but I have walked the path of pregnancy after Hanna and Rachel were born so very early and while it's not the same, it brought with it's own form of anxiety and fear. It sounds to me like you've found a "system" that works for you to manage that worry, while holding onto hope. Hold onto that. Keep it foremost in your mind and when that worry creeps in acknowledge it and feel it.
I really wish I could hug you in person. I'm so, so very happy for you. Many prayers, love and hugs for a long, uneventful 40 weeks.
Ohh my goodness I want to hug you! Congrats and I pray for a very uneventful pregnancy! I am so excited for you! Many many hugs Libby!
Congratulations on your pregnancy, you would be in my prayers for a safe journey and healthy baby.
As always, I am late to the party! OMG!! Congratulations!! I was so happy to read this! Here's to a long and uneventful pregnancy! Love ya girl!
Yay, Libby! Subsequent rainbow pregnancies are fraught with nerves -- i remember well. I was more of a basket case with Kaelin than I was with Kelsey, as Kaelin's was my first post-loss pregnancy. I let myself breathe when I was pregnant with Kelsey, although the fear still lurked.
Take a breath and enjoy, my friend. You deserve every happiness.
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