MARCH OF DIMES | MARCH FOR BABIES | NACERSANO

Somewhere Over the Rainbow

SUDDEN URGE

Today on my way to work, I accidentally drove past the funeral home where Marco was cremated. I am not normally in that area, but happened to be today because my travels took me on a different route. Anyway, I was not prepared to see the funeral home. I remember sitting in their office surrounded by urns just a couple of days after being discharged from the hospital last year. Going through the motions. The feelings were so incredibly raw then. So, as I continued to drive on to work, I had a sudden urge to pull over, get out of the car and throw the smoothie I was drinking as far as I possibly could. Just chuck it. I didn’t do it, but I really wanted to. I don’t even know if it was anger that I was feeling. I think it was just…I don’t know…that “why???” feeling. Maybe I should have just thrown it…it probably would have felt good. I came across this picture of me last July with little Marco tucked safely in my belly. I love you Marco. Thanks for not letting me chuck my delicious $5 smoothie today!

  • Libby,

    next time, i say chuck it!  

    i totally understand those surprising moments that can be so unsettling.

    thinking of you. :)

    Jennifer

  • Love the picture!  You know you did what was right by Marco on his day of life.  You did everything that you could to save him.  How lucky he was to be held to him mommy on his only day here.  It breaks my heart to think of it.

    I love you

    Lisa

  • Libby,

        I'm with Jennifer!  Next time I say throw it as far as you possibly can!  Then go back and get another one if your still thirsty ;)  It amazes me sometimes the sudden bouts of anger or other feelings that come up seemingly out of the blue.  What a beautiful picture of you and your sweet boy!

    Stacy

  • I am with the girls, just chuck it! I love that picture, thank you for sharing it, I can only imagine how hard it is to look at that.

    Katie