Somewhere Over the Rainbow


  • I remember the desperate feeling of wanting a baby inside me again while still dealing with all my fears. After losing our baby we called Peanut, Stickers' (now known as Carson) pregnancy was such a joyous gift. The fear melted for just a little while.

    Hang in there.

  • All the things you are feeling are perfectly normal to feel in your situation. I had so many miscarriages over the years, but in the end I did manage to have two beautiful kids. I still have all kinds of unwanted feelings when I see newborns and pregnant women.  

    I struggled with finding the courage to try again and again. I read somewhere that, courage isn't he absence of fear, but the belief that something else is more important than the fear.

    I am so sorry about what happened with Marco. You are right it is incredibly unfair. I know that kind of loss is not something you ever get over, but I hope, over time, you can at least find some measure of peace.


  • Libby, I remember when I had to have a hysterectomy right after Andrew-- I had a lot of those same feelings.  I felt the "choice" had been taken out of my hands.  Being diagnosed with *** cancer at 42 I feel that way too "why when my kids are so little"?  "why when my Mom is still alive to see me suffer?"  It's taken me a while to realize that there are no answers to those questions.  Recently a friend had to decide whether to put her dog to sleep. She said she visualized putting the dog in God's hands.  At that point she realized he's always been in God's hands and what she was actually "letting go" of was the "illusion" of control over the situation.  That has helped me through the last week or so...hope it helps you.  Love, Maureen Devine

  • I have those days of "why" too.....still.  I hope that you'll find some way to get past these tough days.  Maybe a Snickers Dark will help!  LOL!!  You know we're always here to listen when it gets too overwelming!