So, whether you pay attention or not to the news/media, it's pretty hard to escape the news that the royal baby is here. I knew that she was due sometime around now, but haven't been that tuned into the media to follow all of the details. I am truly happy for William and Kate. Obviously I don't know them at all - only what is heard/seen in the media...but they seem like good people. I watched a clip of them leaving the hospital today with all the hype and photographers and journalists and everyone there. All I could see though, were two people who had just had a baby and were happy. It didn't matter that they were royalty. They are people - real people.
For some reason I'm having writers block, and the words aren't coming out as easily as they do most of the time. Hard for me to get to the point on this one. I guess the point is that I'm happy for them - but at the same time there's that melancholy feeling - that feeling I get when I see someone with their first born - especially when it's a boy. It's what I lost and will never get back. For some reason right now it's feeling very narcissistic of me to even admit to these feelings - it's really not about me - but this is SHARE - and SHARE is a safe place to just put out there how you feel - so here it is - it's ugly - but it's real.
Marco - I love you, my first born. I wish I could have walked out of the hospital with you in my arms, your daddy taking pictures and adjusting you in the car seat just right. Instead, we drove away from the hospital in tears, empty, broken.
I get it Libby. I get it!
Right there with you mama. It's hard watching the life you dreamed be lived by others. It brings about that familiar ache. Felt it today when I saw a young mom with a brand spankin' new baby girl today.
Hugs,
Lauren
Hugs Libby! I love you I soo get this!
Samantha
Yes I totally get this. A woman at work had a baby on the same day too and I was definitely having some feelings that I am not so proud of. Thanks for posting this and letting me (and probably many others) know I am not alone. I wish we all had gotten that chance to walk out of the hospital with our babies with the joy of being new parents.
Marissa
Here's the thing: The royal baby may not be about you but your feelings surrounding it are. They are YOUR feelings and you're owning them. And that's a good thing. You admit that it hurts to see a couple embracing their first born, a son. We all get that and it's okay to admit those feelings. You aren't begrudging them their happiness but are wondering why you didn't get the same. That's human, it's real and I applaud you for getting it out and Sharing it with us.
So much love coming your way,
Tommie
Libby this post brought tears to my eyes. I totally get this. I also love that you write to Marco each and every time that you blog. I often want to write to Arianna but I have no idea where to start. I honestly can't wait to give you a huge hug at SU.
Jami
Libby, I had the same feelings too and didn't know what to do with them. I am so happy for this couple, but at the same time feeling like I didn't get that moment. That's far from what our realities have been. Anything with a baby boy hits that forever tender spot. Yes, our kiddos share a birthday and we'll be eating second helpings or larger slices of cake next Friday celebrating your girl and my boy together:)
Lindsay
Oh, Libby, it totally makes sense. They have what you SHOULD HAVE had, and it's just another reminder of it. I think those feelings are totally normal (because, obviously, I know everything about normal, hahahaha!). Seriously though, I think that's a perfectly healthy way for you to feel. HUGS and ♥ and only 8 weeks until REAL hugs!