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This is how I feel right now. So…up and down. I’m trying my very best to be optimistic, hopeful, positive…all of that good stuff. I’m struggling with it though. Yes, I feel like I have a good treatment plan in place with my doctor. I’m going to yoga, acupuncture, therapy. I’m trying to exercise and to eat healthy. My dad told me that he sensed a new air of confidence in me last weekend. That was right after I had my first acupuncture treatment. At that time, I did feel confident, I felt at peace with things. It changes so quickly though. I can’t say I have been feeling hopeless – I won’t go there. I haven’t lost hope through this whole ordeal. Even when I was still pregnant, when the doctors were giving us a horrible prognosis for Marco and telling us scary/doom and gloom things, I didn’t lose hope. So, it’s not hopeless – it’s more discouraged. I hate that I feel this way. I hate that I am posting this on my blog. I need to get it out though – and I think writing about it will help. I’m always so thankful for all of the support from everyone here on SHARE...thank you, all of you :) I went to my second acupuncture treatment yesterday. I was soooo relaxed afterward. It was great. I pray that it helps me get my cycle back to normal. I need to focus on that first. Get to step 1 (getting my cycle on track) before step 2 (getting pregnant) – although, of course, I just wish I could skip right to step 2! Tomorrow, I'll be leaving for the weekend to go to Kansas, where my family is from, for a family thing. I will get to see a lot of relatives that I haven’t seen in a long time. I think it will be a good trip. I’ll get to get away from it all. I’m going with my mom, sisters, 8 year old niece and 8 month old nephew – so it’s a girls trip (except for baby Sebastian). My husband will be fishing all weekend, which will be good for him too. Anyway – here’s hoping that I come back Monday night with that renewed confidence again! Marco – help me to be strong. I need to be strong.