MARCH OF DIMES | MARCH FOR BABIES | NACERSANO

Somewhere Over the Rainbow

WAS IT ALL A DREAM?

Well...it's the eve of my return to work day. I just am sitting here wondering where the last 16 weeks went. It feels like it was a dream. I wish I could go back to the moment in the hospital when they handed Lucia to me. Now I have to hand her to someone else to watch her 8 hours a day. Some stranger. I went to the daycare today where she will be going to drop off some paperwork. They had 3 babies on the floor doing "tummy time" who were just crying their little eyes out. I don't know if the teachers were letting them cry because they thought it was ok, or if it was because they didn't have any hands to pick them up since both teachers were occupied. All I know is that it made me feel terribly sad. I left there in tears. I have 2 neighbors who have brought their kids there since they were babies, and they have nothing but good things to say about the place...so I know it's a good place...but I don't know, I just felt so aweful when I left. So, I called Bruno right away, and we talked about the possibility of me just quitting my job. I have to go back to work tomorrow as planned because I would need to at least give 2 weeks notice. I know being a stay-at-home mom isn't glamorous and that it would have it's own set of challenges, but I just think I would be happier and hopefully Lucia would be as well. Financially it will also be pretty tight, but I'm pretty sure we can do it. We'll see... One other thing that I've chosen to worry about over the last few days is a face that Lucia has been making. It's probably nothing and is just her getting used to the way her mouth moves and works. She's been making this face where she protrudes her lips and sticks her tongue out. I call it the "monkey face". Usually it's when she is laying on her back and she arches her head back to look back. Bruno said it is just her focusing or feeling her mouth with her tongue. Everything else that she is doing seems totally normal and great...smiling, making eye contact, following objects and voices, cooing. She is also now grasping objects. She kicks and bats at things. I don't know...I've just been wondering whether or not this little face is normal. Maybe I'll call the pediatrician to have them ease my fears. Marco, please watch over your sister tomorrow while she is at daycare for the first time. Keep your fingers crossed that she doesn't have to endure too much unwanted tummy time!! I guess if you could watch over me tomorrow, that would be nice too. The day will probably be harder on me than it will on your sis. Also, let's hope that the monkey face is just a silly face and nothing else! Love you buddy :)

  • Oh Honey ~ I'm sorry this is so hard.  Making decisions like this is very hard.  If you guys can swing it ~ it sounds like it could be nothing but good if you were a stay-at-home Mommy.  That is STILL a full-time job and I just know you will be most excellent at it!  There's nothing glamorous about sitting at a desk job.  Especially if you are thinking of your child all day.  I'm sure you guys will decide what works best for both of you.  Sending you hugs and Lucia is absolutely pure gold from heaven!

  • I'm sorry that you're feeling the anxiety of leaving Lucia.  I know this doesn't help, but those babies may have just started crying right as you walked up so they might otherwise be happy with tummy time.  I hope that things will work out so that both of you are happy and comfortable!

    Hugs to you!

    T

  • The first days back to work were really hard for me (even though my mom was watching kaitlyn).  I think it's normal to want to stay home with your baby.  In my situation, I couldn't, so here I am at work and somedays it does make me sad.  I wish I could stay at home with her.  Whatever you choose, please know that things will be okay!! :)

    As for the monkey face, I've seen alot of babies over the years with my mom doing in home daycare my whole life, and I can tell you that I've seen that face in many babes.  I think she's discovered her tongue! She's feeling around thinking, 'wow, what's that?!'  I'd say if you do have concerns, you can always call your doc, just to put your mind at ease.  No question is a stupid question ;)  Good luck tomorrow.  I'll be saying a prayer for you!!!  3

    (((hugs)))

    Julie

  • I think if you can stay home and it is what you want, then I would do whatever it takes to spend that time with Lucia.

    I went back to work when Imani was 5 months old and I thought it was going to be the worst experience.  For me, it turned out to be OK.  I did leave her with my mom and that made the transition easier.

    Good luck in your decision...I know its a tough one.

    Cathy

  • That would have been hard, when ever I see a crying baby at the gym daycare I want to scoop them up.

    I made the decision to stay at home and while I miss having my own cash and adult conversation some days. I really have enjoyed it. I don't plan on doing it forever but when I feel it's right I will enter back into the work force.

    I'm sure that you will make the best choice for your family

    Brooke

  • Big giant hugs to you. I hope that everything goes okay tomorrow.

    Katie

  • I can only imagine how hard it will be to leave Lucia and go to work, especially after seeing those crying babies. Just remember that you chose this day care because people you trust trust them and that's the best recommendation you can hope for, I think. I hope it works out that you can quit and be a full-time mom at home.

    If you think the face is weird, call. I totally would.

    Sending you big hugs for your first day back and little tiny hugs for Lucia on her first day of daycare.

    Shannon

  • I totally understand what you're going through!!!  Having done daycare with our two oldest, I was brought to tears as well.  I am currently enjoying being a stay at home mom, but like you said, it's challenging. I just know you'd be an amazing stay at home mom!!!!  Continue to talk it over with Bruno and if you need to talk to someone who's been a working mom and a SAHM, give me a call!  You guys will make the right decision for you. Hang in there, mama!

  • Libby,

    I think this is one of the hardest decisions to make...there are so many pros and cons when looking at whether to stay home or work.  I think the way you're doing it could be the perfect thing...you have to work for two weeks even if you quit today.  So you can use that time to see how you feel.  Maybe you'll surprise yourself and find that you can work and feel comfortable leaving Lucia at daycare.  I've never regretted staying home with my kids...my opinion is that I won't get these years back if I miss them.  Some of my working mom friends explain that they just spend much more quality time with their kids when they can get it.  Either way, I wish you luck in making your decision!

    Love,

    Megan.

  • Hi Libby,

    How did your first day back go?

    Oh, I remember the dread of going back to work after I had Kaelin. I had 12 weeks off under FMLA, but the company I worked for offered an additional six weeks unpaid. I took two more weeks off then came back part time to ease back in. Definitely made it easier.

    I was apprehensive about leaving Kaelin at the sitter, too. There's no one who will ever take care of our kids like we do ... and I remember on my first day back looking at the clock wondering what/how she was doing. I called once or twice the first day, then I was OK.

    I personally wouldn't have the sanity to be a SAHM (plus it would be too hard to do my freelance work), but I applaud anyone who can. The finances will take care of themselves. You will be saving on daycare, work clothes, gas to and from, etc.

    As for the tongue stuff -- Kelsey has her tongue out a lot, too ... although she doesn't stick her lips out. I'll bet it's nothing. Babies are experiencing so many things at this stage ... and the tongue helps them get a sense of their world.

    Hope you are doing well.

    erin

  • Hi Libby,

    Oh, I can SO identify with these feelings.  I hope that your first day week(s) back went okay for your family.  For me, it was a decision I stressed over many times and still do . . . With our first baby, I took 13 weeks (12 FMLA+1 more unpaid).  I should have taken the rest of that semester off as I was NOT ready to go back.  With our second baby, I took the semester off and I'm glad that I did.  

    Since 2004-2005 school year, I've been working super part-time teaching schedules because I wasn't comfortable leaving them all day.  If I had found a provider whom I really liked, I think I would've been okay.  I took 2 1/2 years off after Naethyn died.  I went back to work for the first time and I'm working just 2 hours in the morning M-F.  This little foot in the teaching door and a few hours for my "youngest" in preschool has been a good fit for us.  The preschool/daycare is the best fit ever, but it took us (me) time to get there and feel that way.

    I hope that you are giving it some time to see how you feel.  You can always quit your job and see how you like being home too.  You do have options and being home is a FT job even though you're not on payroll.  

    Wishing you peace with decisions,

    Lindsay