MARCH OF DIMES | MARCH FOR BABIES | NACERSANO

Somewhere Over the Rainbow

WHAT'S IN A CHART?

If you were to pick up my medical chart at my OBGYN office, you’d find a lot of records in there. All of my records from my pregnancy last year, my hospital records, Marco’s autopsy results. You would also find the records from my first 2 visits at that particular OBGYN office, which were this summer…not too long ago. So, I was so not prepared at my appt with her on Wednesday (a routine pap smear) to not only be asked by the medical assistant, but also by the doctor herself (within about 5 minutes of each other) how old my baby is. WTF????????? When the doctor asked me and I responded that he had died shortly after birth (again – this is the second time I had to explain within about 5 minutes), she looked shocked and started flipping through the chart. She blurted out “oh, I guess I should have looked through the chart!” I understand that doctors are busy and all, but really, it only takes about 30 seconds to skim through the last note or 2, or the pregnancy history. If she would have taken those 30 seconds, it would have saved me from feeling the numbness and then subsequent pain that I felt later that day. What is a chart for if they never look in it? Especially prior to entering the exam room. As a nurse, I ALWAYS have looked in a patient’s chart prior to seeing them. One of the most upsetting things about this is that I felt as though I trusted this doctor. I don’t know where to go from here? Do I give her another chance? Do I look for someone new? Do I go back to my original OB (who doesn’t really know what to do with me)? I’m exhausted with just the thought of trying to answer these questions. My sister called the office manager there after I told her what happened, and left a lengthy message. I do also intend on writing a letter to the practice. I’m also going to write a letter (while I’m at it) to the perinatologist who delivered Marco, and then asked me at my 4 week postpartum visit how the baby was doing….again, a quick glance at the chart is all it would have taken him to get quickly reacquainted to my case. Instead, to him, I was just another high-risk c-section. These doctors NEED sensitivity training!! Anyway – sorry for all this venting…I hope everyone had a good Thanksgiving with their families. In an effort to end on a positive note, I must say that I have many things to be thankful for. I love you Marco. I am thankful for you. I am thankful for being able to carry you for 29 weeks and 4 days in my womb. I am thankful that your dad and I were able to hold you and love you while you passed from this world to heaven. I love you with all my heart.

  • Honey, that's absolutely unacceptable.  You can forgive them, but my two-cents worth is to move on.  There's a doctor you can find who will value those 30 seconds of prep before talking with you.  You have every right to be upset.  If they skim through your chart without reading it all it makes you wonder what else they might have missed.  Hope you enjoyed your turkey day and I send you lots of love, Uncle ~B~

  • Oh Libby, reading this made my heart so sad.  It's one thing for Joe Shmo not to know what to say or what to do, but a doctors office?  Those are people who should make you feel safe, not heart broken.

    I think writing the practice and your previous peri is a gift.  To take your heartache and turn it around into action that might save another angel mommy undue extra grief is truly an beautiful act.  An act only made possible with Marco's impact on this world.  Those letters will ripple through many.

    Lauren-

    For what its worth, the MOD sells (and your local office might give you) little "handbooks" about what to say, we've mailed them to all the OBs in our area and to our hospital.

  • Libby:

    So sorry to hear what happen to you, how unconsiderated of them, glad you took actions. My advice is to look for a OB that you like and look at you as a person not a number, a patient or a client. I know switching OB is hard but it is worth it. My OB was so nice with us, he even felt our pain, and prayed with us, he was like a friend. And when I go to consultation we chit chat of everything, like old pals, tough it was hard to find him, I went from jerk to worst jerk, until finally my ped recommended him to me. Maybe some friend dr. can reccomend someone to you? Good luck.

    Lorena

  • Libby~  

    I'm so sorry that they did something so insensitive!!  I think they should flag those folders in some way so that they don't even have to open it to know how to keep their mouth shut.  How hard would that be??  I hope that the phone call and the letter will make the staff of that practice take a moment to think of how hurtful their words can be if they don't take the time to read.

    Tracy

  • I completely agree Dr's need some sensitivty training. My last apt with my dr, the guy who delivered my daughter, the one who pronounced her as gone, asked me how old she was. I had to make him repeat himself and then looked to my husband to answer when he repeated the question. He did apologize but would it of hurt him to refreash himself with my history?

    We have chosen to stay with him for now. I am comfortable with this Dr for the most part, and he is the first one I've seen in this journey to have a child that doesnt wanna hand me some pills to make me go away. I've seen some quacks along the way, not sure if I'm sticking with him because I don't wanna start the journey for a new Dr or if it'd best for me, guess only time will tell.

    So Sorry you had to go through that and I hope the call and letters help.

  • You should not have to deal with that, Libby. I can only imagine the shock that the question must have produced and the heartache that followed.

    You deserve to vent! That's what you are here for. Is this doctor the one who has been treating you for your messed-up cycle? It's so hard to know whether to stick with her or not...

    Thinking of you. Sending lots of hugs.

    Shannon

  • Wow! You have got to be kidding me. That is totally unacceptable and unprofessional. I am so, so sorry that happened to you. As if your heart doesn't hurt and long for baby Marco as it is, you certainly do not need to encounter dense people. I am glad you are writing a letter and your sister called. I feel like they are being lazy, not looking in your chart and all that you have been through.

    Huge hugs,

    Kami

  • Oh Libby, your last paragraph brings many tears.  I can only imagine what those moments were like for you and hubby as I remember the silent moments I had with mine.  Go to a different OB.  If your OB can't take a few seconds, look to see the name of her next patient, and remember you and your precious Marco, then get out of there.  You need to be with someone who is going to give you at least that.  I encourage you to write a letter.  It will make you feel better.  These people need to know.  It happened to me when I went in for my physical this past January.  I had to fill out new forms and it asked how many births, viable, stillborn, etc.  I had to write 2 births and 1 stillbirth.  I listed all of my surgeries too.  I get in the room and the nurse asked me if I was pregnant?  If she had looked at the chart, she would have read "tubal ligation."  It hurts all over again. A simple question can do that to us.  Glad your sister called the office too.

    Hugs,

    Lindsay

  • Libby,

    I thought of you today and one of your posts where you talked about the play "Rabbit Hole."  Nicole Kidman was on the View this morning.  They made the movie into a play and it will be out soon.  I don't know if I have the guys to go and see it, but I am so glad that it will give insight to so many parents' grief who just don't know.

    Thanks for sharing that little bit with us.  

    Lindsay