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January is Birth Defects Prevention Month.  In thinking about the wording of that, "Birth Defects Prevention Month", I get perplexed.  While I know that there are some birth defects that can be prevented, not all of them can.  

I know, not just in my heart, but because I was told by 2 different genetics doctors, that there is nothing that we could have done to prevent our son Marco from having the birth defects that took his life.  He had a genetic disorder, that will always remain unknown.  It caused multiple defects, or as the doctors liked to term it "anomalies"...both of those words, I hate.  

So, while knowing that there is nothing I could have done to prevent what happened with my Marco, I sit here reflecting on what birth defects stole from me:

My son

My innocence

My feeling of safety

My ability to enjoy pregnancy as one should

I know there is much more, but for some reason, I can't put them on paper.  But isn't what is listed there enough?  I mean, each one of those on their own is enough to knock you down.

What birth defects didn't steal from us though, is love and hope.  And, if anything, it only made our love stronger.  Love for our son, each other, our daughter and future kid(s), others who may be going through something similar.

Marco's time here on earth was short, and it was an extremely difficult time for us.  But he remains a part of us for always and ever, and knowing that he is all around us in everything we do makes my heart smile.

Marco, you are so much more than a baby who died because of birth defects.  We love you more than you could ever imagine, and even though things turned out vastly different with you than we had hoped, we are so very grateful that you graced our lives with your presence and that you remain all around us.