Today I am 31 weeks into this pregnancy. The first 20 weeks D R A G G E D on and on and on and on and on - I mean, I thought I would NEVER make it to that 20 week sonogram. As slow (did I mention SLOW?!) as that first 20 weeks went, the last 20 weeks really seems to be flying by. I literally feel like it was just yesterday that I was 30 weeks, and here I am, another week completed.
I have been feeling more confident as the weeks go by. Each day completed is a day closer that we are to meeting this little one. With that increased confidence however, comes increased fear. Not an extremely pervasive fear, but a steady amount of it that just kind of hovers. It especially surfaces when I talk to Lucia about the baby. And it's there as we make more preparations around our house for the baby. It kind of sucks, for lack of a better word, that doing things that you should be doing when you're confident exasperates the fear.
I passed the point a week and a half ago at which I had Marco. Things are so different with this pregnancy then they were during my pregnancy with him...but I did feel something as I passed that day....something to the effect of a tug from him on my heartstrings reminding me that this is exactly how much time I had with him.
Just 7 weeks and 3 days until my csection now. Sometimes it seems like that is tomorrow, and other times it feels further away, but I know that it'll be here before I know it. My goal is to make the most out of this remaining time. To cherish every kick as much as I can. To spend extra time with my little Lucia whose world is going to be flipped upside down soon. I feel confident that she's going to love being a big sister, but she is used to getting us all to herself, and I know this is going to be quite an adjustment for her. To not take this time for granted - that is my goal.
Marco, I know you've been with us every step of this journey, as you always are. I am so very grateful for every second of those 29 weeks 4 days that you spend inside me, and for the short time we had with you before having to kiss you goodbye forever. Thank you for continuing to give me strength as we await for your new sister.
Libby,
I am rooting for you. Time is so precious- and so complicated. I wish you the peace you deserve to enjoy these moments fully as they are, with this little one kicking all over the place, Lucia smiling and Marco always and forever near.
xoxoxo,
Lauren
Congrats on 31 weeks along Libby:) It is something to be celebrated. I know that there just have to be so many emotions and memories flooding both your mind and heart. You're doing a great job! You're an amazing person and mommy:) Little Lucia looks so cute and happy. And why wouldn't she be, she's at Starbucks! Yum! Are you guys excited as I am about the new mini frapp?!
Sending you lots of hugs,
Lindsay
Oh Libby, this time is so precious and yet so fraught with anxiety and fears. I totally get your need to spend as much time with Lucia as possible to bottle her time of getting you all to herself. I worried incessantly how becoming a big sister would affect Alyssa. And like Lucia will, Alyssa was and is a great big sister.
Here's to another boring 7 weeks until you meet Marco and Lucia's baby sister.
So much love to you,
Tommie
Congratulations on 31 weeks! I think that pregnancy/baby preparation is so different when you're an angel mom. We have so many more fears than the average mom. Before you lose one you never realize how special some of the moments are. I have no doubt that Marco is watching over you and giving you the strength you need.
Love and Hugs,
Brandi
Love you, Libby. You're such a wonderful mother to all of your children.
Shannon
Congrats on making it to 31 weeks! Yay! Also happy to hear that time is flying by now. Enjoy these last 7 weeks!
Pregnancy after loss is so beautiful and so hard. Its no longer the fear of the unknown, its the fear of the known. I have no doubt that Lucia is going to be the best big sister in the universe. She is already the best little sister in the universe.
I am sending lots of hugs as you make it through these next 7 weeks.
Jami
Libby wow 31 weeks, well right now probably you are like 34 :), but anyway I am so happy for you, Lucia and Bruno, that things have move smoothly and days have pass with no problems, I know how stressful it is to be pregnant and with fear, but I do hope you have enjoyed these days.
Lucia is so big now, and so happy, I am sure she will be a great big sister.
big hug
L.