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In 5 day we should be celibrating my daughters fifth birthday! In five day we should be surrounding her with balloon, cake and spoiling her with gifts. I should be out shopping for the perfect party dress and bow. All while shopping for her to start kindergarten. INSTEAD, I will be trying to hold on to every memory from that day. Trying to savor the feeling of the last time I held her, kissed her cheek. INSTEAD I will be opening a small box of my daughters life, wishing that things had been different, wish I could go back to that very moment and have just five more minutes with her. To say I cant believe its been five years is an understatement. I have no idea where the last five years have gone. How did I ever make it through those first few days, How did I make it through the first few week, months, or even the first year. I have no Idea how but I do know finding SHARE and you all have made this five year rollar coaster journey to a new "normal" a little bit easier. Trying to explain to anyone who does not know SHARE is hard, to those who do know SHARE you all just get it! So as I celebrate Trinitys fifth birthday I will also be celibrating SHARE. Celibrating you all, All of you who have angels watching over us, all those whose children have fought so hard to be with us today and those whose children are continuing to fight daily to remain with us. I will celebrate it all because losing Trinity, and finding SHARE has had a profound impact on who I am today. An Impact on what the MOD means to me and how I choose to take my loss and try to help someone else NOT have to take the journey I have had to take, or to offer support to those who are on the same journey I am. On Thur we will be sending our balloons up to Trinity and all the SHARE angels. I like to believe that on Thur all our angel babies will be surrounded by my daughter eating all the birthday cake their little heart could imagine. More than us moms would have ever let them eat here on earth. In loving memory of all our angels!