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Dear Kindergarten Teacher,

Here we are just 11 days before school starts. I dont know who you will be yet as we will not find out till next week. Here is what I need you to know. This sweet little boy whose hand I will be struggling to let go of means more to me than you can begin to imagine. I know you have encountered so many anxious moms over the years but I may be a little different. You see this sweet little boy is a miracle baby. Years before his arrival we lost his big sister at birth. It took us years to try again and another loss before he existed. He then arrived premature and fought to live. You see I never though we would experience a first day of kindergarten after our oldest son accomplished that task 9 years ago. When we lost our daughter and struggle to conceive I never thought we would be here again.

So this anxious momma will stay up the night before watching him sleep. Trying to figure out just how time went by so fast. I will pack his lunch and maybe repack it so I know it's perfect. I will pick out his clothes, sock, shoes. That morning I will make him his favorite breakfast and I know him, he will be full of such excitement because I know he is so ready for Kindergarten. I will fight hard on that first day to let go of his hand. I will hold back an ocean of tears because I do not want him to see me falling apart. I may linger at the door a little longer than most moms, fighting for one more glimpse of him before he becomes a big kid. I will get in my car before the flood of tears will be unleashed. I will sit in the parking lot a little longer because I know I wont be able to drive through the tears. I will sit home on that first day watching the clock. I will worry about how his day is going, if the kids are nice, and praying that he doesn't think for one second that I abandoned him, hoping he know how much I love him. I pray that you will care for him as if he was one of your own. I pray that you can see the gentle heart he has. I hope you notice how his smile can truly light up your day. I hope you can enjoy that moment of excitement he gets and how his face light up like a Christmas tree. I hope you can see how bright he is. I hope you can see how very much loved he is.

So I need you to know that on that first day as I fight to let go of his hand understand why it is so very hard. Please give me those extra moment I may need to find my courage to let go. And if day 2 comes around and I still seem to have trouble letting go of his hands please have patience with me.

Much love

A very anxious momma