It can really be August, can it? I can't believe we are looking at another year passing.
I can't believe Jadon will be eleven in just six days. How did that happen? We are preparing for middle school and his birthday. I'm not quiet sure how I am handling all the upcoming changes with Jadon. Add to that Trinity's upcoming birthday and it add a whole level of emotions.
How does time move so fast when you feel like it was all just yesterday. If feels like yesterday Jadon arrived five weeks too soon. It feels like yesterday Trinity quietly entered and left this world. I hate that their Birthdays are so close. I still remember Jadon's 2nd birthday. I had been told just a few week before that the daughter I was carrying was most likely not going to make it. I was on bed rest but I put a smile on my face and threw Jadon a party with Family and friends. We had a yard for of kids playing and I was doing everything I could to hold myself together. Many people around us had no idea the severity of what we had been told by doctors. I wanted him to have a beautiful birthday because I had no idea when the days ahead would bring. I'm thankful for that day because nine days later Trinity arrived and so much of his life was turned upside down. For years things were upside down.
I never want to let the sadness of Trinity's passing take away from the joy of Jadon turning another age. So I fake it till I make it.
But every year as the Month of August begins I begin the struggle. Struggle to ride the waves of grief that hit as well as celebrate the amazing life of Jadon.
Jadon: You may never read this but I hope you know the joy you have brought to my life. You saved me. You reminded me and still remind me of the beauty in life is still there. You are smart, funny, intuitive, and you have an amazing heart. You are smarter that I think you are even aware of. You have an old soul, and someday I hope you know the value in that. You love you baby brother and are amazing to him. If he cries, you tend to him. He calls you his best friend and that is music to my ears. I hope you always remember how much he loves you and looks up to you. I hope you always have the bond you have now. I love how much you love and honor your sister. You will always help keep her memory alive. Never forget God is good, and prayer is healing. Follow your heart. Give back when you can and sometimes even when you can't. Never forget that I will always love you and will always be there for you. You were and always will be my first snuggle bug!
I love you my sweet wild boy.
The days ahead will be filled with bittersweet moments. Here we go.....
What a beautiful letter to Jadon. He may never read that letter but he feels your love. He knows, in his heart, how important he is to you, to your family, to his brother and yes, even to his sister. You've given him that, that love, that honor.
I hope his birthday is amazing and that August is kind to you,
So many hugs. I know i have the same thing with June. i always wonder why, why right atound my other kids birthday. If i could i would fly to florida and give you a great big hug. Nicki
Beautifully written, Sam. He knows your love for him and his siblings. And I love that he's such a great big brother to his little! Can't believe he'll be 11 already.
I understand the roiling emotions as those dates grow near. Some how, some way, we always get through them. Many hugs to you.
Oh Sam, this is so sweet:) Our older children's lives were turned upside down. They've been on this same journey with us and witnessed so much. Their capacity to love at the toughest of times amazes me. Jadon loves his family very much and I'm sure he knows just how big of a role he plays to both his siblings. I can't believe he'll be 11 already! It's going by too fast! I know this is an emotionally filled month for you and I'll be thinking of you as you approach their birthdays.
Sending you lots of hugs and love this month. I wish I could be a little closer.
Sending you lots and lots of hugs. The letter to Jadon was beautiful. ♡ I am the same way about September.
This is beautiful Samantha. Wishing Jadon a very happy birthday. I'm right here beside you this month, making our way through the bitter sweet moments, grieving for our sweet girls while trying to enjoy celebrating our amazing boys!
So many hugs to you!
I share your pain! The letters we write to our little ones are so special. When I was pregnant with JJ I kept a journal and I would write to him. Recently I read that journal, the day he was born and what I wanted to say to him that day. I was a new mom and my love for him was overwhelming. I didn't imagine loving him more. But I do. It's the same way with grief. We can't imagine getting thru it, but we do. August holds a lot for you. I want to encourage you to focus on how much Trinity has brought to your life. I know it's hard but I'm so grateful that she gave me you! Enjoy everything you can in the days to come because no matter how difficult, soon these days will be a blip in the rearview mirror.
Yes, August has gotten here way too fast!!! I can't believe he's going to be 11!!!! As for faking it through for the joy of one child.....I get it!! HUGS!!!! Those moments are super tough, but you're going a great job at sharing your love with all of your kiddos even when it's a little harder to do so with a smile.
I will be sending extra thoughts your way this month. Such beautiful love filled words for all three of your children.
That is such a beautiful letter to Jadon. Sounds like a lot of changes coming up in August, thinking of you!
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