Samarella's Journal

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  • How fun!!!!  Love the pics!!

    I totally get what you said about helping others and being "okay".  When I started teaching, I felt like I had so much more to learn.  After about 10 years I still felt like I had so much to learn and I was one of the "veterans" on my team.  Now we're "veterans" to losing our girls and even though we have so much to learn----we can offer so much to those who are just beginning their journey.  



  • This is a beautiful post.  Will you still have moments that are hard, where you miss Trinity more than ever but knowing that those moments of pain will lessen and the moments of joy will take over is a great knowledge.

    Your boys are very lucky to have you, to know how much you love them and to bask in that love.


  • Samantha:

    Loved the pictures! so glad you had a great day in Sea World, Jaxson is getting so big...

    I am no expert or anything, but time had gave me some "sight" when I read some blogs I think in which state of pain and grief angel moms are... I think you are coming to "accepting" your new normal... which is good, it doesn't mean you love less or miss Trinity less, is just moving forward to next phase with your angel in your heart... and yes I have discover that nothing heals more a broken heart than helping others, even if it is a small  kind word of understanding... So glad you help your SIL and it help you...

    so, big hugs to you


  • Great pics of you and your family at Sea World :)  Looks like you guys had a great time.

    Sometimes in helping others, we learn a lot about ourselves.  Taking our own advice can be so hard!  I'm glad that you were able to enjoy Sea World w/ your boys - knowing that Trinity was watching over you all.



  • You and the boys and Derek of course all look amazing! So happy. I am so glad that you were able to feel Trinity there with you, because she is there with you all, always. I believe that our Angels guide us and every thing that we do. I feel Arianna's presence in everything that I do. Sometimes I feel like she is shouting at me. :) Trinity has been such a positive influence in the woman that you are she has quite the loud voice as well. No doubt that tiny little girl is shouting!



  • Samantha-

    I have been waiting for a post like this from you for some momma, wondering, hoping, wishing when you would find this measure of peace.  I truly had tears reading it because it's big when it happens.  It doesn't erase all the pain or lessen the love- it brings them into balance and allows them to co-exist.

    Trinity is always with you- in all those smiles at Sea World (the pictures are beautiful!).  She can be a source of just as many of your smiles and those can far outweigh the tears.  I think of everyone it is Trinity who is smiling most brightly with pride at her amazing mommy able to reach out and touch so many with kind words and a listening ear.