Samarella's Journal


  • Samantha-

    I too had/have many fears about the new site- I actually made sure I had the "old share" open in a browser window last night, because I knew when I woke up, it would probably be updated and I wanted to keep eyes on it a lil' longer.  My heart sank a lil' when I accidentally quit the browser and realized I had just made it go away, forever.  Not being able to see something again- I think we know why that leaves us feeling so vulnerable.

    I am so thankful that Jaxon is on the mend.  It was very scary to hear what was happening to him.  It was your amazing mommy instincts that knew what was right for him, even with your "guard down".

    When I read what you wrote... if you take away the "I feel like"... you are just left with,  "I will never be able to live as though bad things don't lurk around ever corner."  And I think that is the truest of the true- you will never be able to LIVE in that world.  You could exist in it... and no doubt it could be a reality, but could you ever LIVE and truly enjoy the beauty of Jaxon, Jadon and Trinity?  I wish I knew the answers to having that fear loosen it's grip.. I don't, but I do know, it's no way for us to live.

    Many hugs,


  • I can't imagine how scary it was for you when Jaxson got sick.  I do sometimes think to myself "what if something horrible happened to Lucia??"  But then I realize that I just cannot even go there and I try to bring myself back to the present.  We all unfortunately learned the hard way that anything can happen at anytime.  There are no guarantees. It is certainly not always easy, but it is important to try as hard as we can to live each day in the present - it's something I work at daily.  



  • Girl---we've all had fears with this change, and me---Miss No Facebook---was fighting several changes pretty hard!!  I had to come to the realization that James knows me pretty well after all this time and he wouldn't "allow" anyone to come onto this project who didn't want to "protect" us like we need to be protected.  I have had to practice just like everyone else, but I think we'll help so many more people with our new connections!!

    As for worrying.....I think there is no end!!  Hugs!