Samarella's Journal

Finding Joy in the Season

  • I really get this! It's so hard when all you have is an ornament instead of a little girl. All we can do is try to find the joy, and try to see it from the eyes of our living children. Sending you so much love and hugs this season and always.


  • I totally understand. This time of year brings it all out. The butterfly ornament on your tree is so sweet and so very pretty:) I'll be wiping away the tears with you Sam. You get extra egg nog.

    Sending hugs and strength,


  • We recently lost our daughter Genevieve 8 days after her birth (10/28-11/5) and this whole holiday season has blindsided me. I actually don't remember the entire month of November and Christmas being less than 2 weeks away doesn't seem possible and I understand those feelings you had that first Christmas and I'm feeling them myself right now. Feeling guilty about other people's joy is something that will always accompany you during this season, I know I keep asking myself "why does everyone else get the happy ending and not us" but today I was able to find my own joy. In October I was so excited to get our 2016 family ornament made  because we finally had a child to add instead of another dog so I went ahead and ordered it early along with a monogrammed stocking that matches the ones my husband and I have. Instead of being sad about having these things my daughter will never use I found joy in knowing that each Christmas she will have a stocking hanging alongside ours and a special ornament on the tree. I'm learning that my emotions are unpredictable but not uncontrollable and sometimes looking a situation from a new perspective can give you the joy you never thought you'd get back. Enjoy your holiday season :)

  • I agree completely with all of the above. It's so hard in the holidays when your other children are happy and joyful to allow yourself to join in with them as well as allowing the sad mourning time. Thinking of you and your family.