With Trinity's birthday approaches I am thinking a lot of what happened 10 years ago. After talking to a fried last night a memory I can't seem to shake now. I remember 10 years ago we were told the child we were carrying would most likely not make it. I had a little boy who was just days from being two. I was 24 weeks and I was see drs all the time it felt like. At the time of Jadon's birthday, had 3 weeks to digest the prognosis. I was a walking zombie back then. We decided to keep things as normal for him as possible so we threw him a small party in the back yard with just close family and friends. I remember putting on a smile. Everyone was asking about the baby I was carrying, how Jadon would be a great big brother, and everyone asked how I was doing. I don't know if we had really told everyone what we had been told. I don't remember how much details we had shared publicly. I don't even remember how I answered all the questions when I didn't know the answers myself. I mainly remember the feelings I felt. I remember feeling fake. Like "how can I celibate when at any moment I can lose this baby girl I am carrying". It was a hard day. Isn't it crazy how even 10 years later you can remember the feelings you felt in a moment so deeply. I will never forget the day of Jadon's 2nd birthday. I will never forget putting on a mask to give him his day. I will never forget the whirlwind feeling and thoughts that raced through my head that day. I remember how relieved I was when everyone went home.
Jadon will be 12 in just 4 days (still not sure how that happened). 13 days till Trinity's 10th. I just have to get through August!
Big Hugs!!! And a huge cup of Lemonade!! You have gotten me through one of the hardest nights of my life and Trinity is your strength! Although her time here was so short, Her presence ripples through so many souls!
Sorry for your loss ...although they say that time heals ,some feelings are forever . Especially Love . You are a good mother -and your natural instinct ,lead you to do what you did . I'm sure she feels your love wherever she is ,especially in August when ou connect with her memory .
Hope you gain strength from the same place inside you - that is where your heart is where all your love comes from .
We lost our baby girl two months ago
I'm still heart broken,but am filled with love to my little angel and to my children and I know at heart that when some days are tougher I choose to focus on what I love .
I am wishing Jadon a very happy birthday! I hope that the tour of the new school went well and feel good about the school decision whichever you choose. I can so relate to putting on a mask to make things normal for others. You've been through so much and I know that your angel is always on your mind, even more as her special day approaches.
Sending love and hugs,
Oh Sam...it never gets easier, does it? How can it? Trinity is still not here. She's still gone and you still have the memories of losing her. I don't know if it helps but so many of here, who never got to meet Trinity, remember her, think of her, keep her memory alive right along with you.
So much love as you hunker down and survive August.
Hugs..those memories and how they can come back in such clarity. I sometimes wish if things had to go wrong why right around my other child's birthday. Why not let us be able to celebrate that day without other dates looming....I will be thinking about you and wish Jadon a very happy birthday. When ever I read post about your son he sounds like his personality is very much like my son's. We are lucky to have such wonderful, caring, sweet boys. Nicki
Hugs Sam! I remember when I had to wear a mask, at Thanksgiving 2006- when I knew Josie's diagnosis but for some reason my family wouldn't accept it. They kept telling me that she would be a miracle, citing examples of miracle babies and how God will fix it all. Its awful when those memories have to cloud the new ones you're trying to make. Wishing you so much love and peace in the month of August!
So many years and still so much love. You are an amazing mom and woman.
March of Dimes fights for the health of all moms and babies. We're advocating for policies to protect them. We're working to radically improve the health care they receive. We're pioneering research to find solutions. We're empowering families with the knowledge and tools to have healthier pregnancies. By uniting communities, we're building a brighter future for us all.
Privacy, Terms, and Notices
© Privacy, terms and notices