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Over the last few years I had to learn to quit putting so much stock into other people. I had to learn that my daughters life is so much more than weather or not every one else remembered. I found myself crying all the time heart broken because family and "real world" friends had forgotten her birthday, and when I was having a hard day my family assumed I wasn't healing it well. I found out years later that my mom, grandma, and aunt had had conversations about my grief and how I was "handling" it. Come to find out they didn't think I would ever come "out of it" as they said. "We were very concerned". I was devastated. This was my family, they to lossed their great niece, great granddaughter, and their granddaughter. How could they not understand. How could they not get it. Many years as March For Babies rolled around I would have no Family support. NONE! I would come here and complain about each and every member of my family who failed to see the importance of March For Babies as I see it!
I learned that my daughters life is what I make it out to be. I choose how I tell my story and how I choose to honor her. I have learned that SYS Family and those I have met in my "real world" who walk a similar journey are the ones I reach out to when it come to keeping her memory alive. I know that HERE her life has a meaning and people who love her. Who loved her as I loved her! Many of you know her birthday when my own family does not. I choose not to let their lack of support define her life or how I choose to remember and honor her!
I write this for those who are struggling, feeling like everyone has forgotten. Don't let people's lack of support define your child life. Find a way for you (however you choose) to grieve and honor your child. Write in a journal, reach out to someone you know "gets it", release balloons. Find what works for shirtyou!
This year I choose to to honor my children and others on our March for babies! Here's the link check out the back as some of the SYS family munchkins are honored as NICU Grads and Angels! I cant wait to have a little bit of share with me on walk day!
You're right....it doesn't matter how others choose to remember your child, as long as you honor her, all is well.
That is so sweet! I love the post. You carry her in your spirit and that is why she is always here.
So much empowerment in your words! And so true. We would never let anyone else define our children who are here... why should they be allowed to define our children who we hold in our hearts?
You're her mama bear, and you own her story, and whether they acknowledge it or not, their lives has also been shaped by hers as you so beautifully carry her with you in everything you do.
Love love love this post lil sis. It truly doesn't matter how others remember her just as long as you continue to honor her memory.
Love you girl
I love this post, Sam, and it reminds me that I need to order a shirt!
Very well said. I kept my grief very close to my heart after we lost Arianna. I really shut many of my family and old friends out. Now it is hard for me to be upset with them for not recognizing her when I grieved so quietly. I hope you know that I will always remember your sweet baby girl. She is always in my heart and on my mind. Love ya.
Beautifully put, Sam, and so true. Giving others that kind of power can only bring us down. What we need is to be lifted up and to lift each other up. We know that we can always count on those here on Share to lift us up!!
Hugs to you!
March of Dimes fights for the health of all moms and babies. We're advocating for policies to protect them. We're working to radically improve the health care they receive. We're pioneering research to find solutions. We're empowering families with the knowledge and tools to have healthier pregnancies. By uniting communities, we're building a brighter future for us all.
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