It hard to believe that tomorrow its been 12 years since I met you and I lost you. These are the day that I sit back and wonder all the "should have beens". I think about all the moment I miss out on because you died. Those first steps, first day of schools, and all those moment in between. I think about what you would be like, the relationship with your brothers, your personality. I mourn the moment that should be happening in the future. Homecomings, proms, first date, graduation, and wedding. I wonder what your relationship would be like with your daddy. He is so good with your cousin Alicia, I know you would have been a daddy's girl if you were here with us today.
I think about how much I have changed. Some for the good and some not so good. Sometimes I let my sadness of losing you consume my life. It causes anxiety and I am very overprotective of your brothers. I worry way more than I should. I still haven't figured out how to control all that, yet.
Tonight my heart hurts. I miss you so deeply. I hate that you will not be here with us tomorrow as we celebrate your birthday. I hate that we have missed out on 12 birthday cakes with you. I hate that we missed out on so much with you. I wish things were different. I just wish you were here.
Sam, my heart and thoughts are with you. We will never forget our angels, no matter how many years. I see parents with boys who would be the same age my sons would have been ... and the thoughts swirl. Love you, my friend.
erin
Sending love, hugs and prayers for your heart as you remember your sweet Trinity. I can't imagine how incredibly difficult these days are for you. Grief is not linear and it has no defined rules... be kind to yourself and know that Trinity is so proud of you and all you've done in her name.
Big hugs and much love,
Karri
I'm sending overdue love and hugs to you! I hear Trinity or see the name and I always think of you and your baby girl. I see families with three kids in tow. I think of my family with three kids that no one will ever see together. I know it hurts and it's unfair that she isn't here with you. You've been SO incredibly strong all of these years. Somehow our angels give us the strength to keep going. Your boys have this same strength and are getting the greatest lesson in love from their awesome mama:)
Sending BIG hugs,
Lindsay