I'm so sorry you're not finding comfort from home. Sometimes (ok... frequently) I find boys are just clueless when it comes to this kind of thing and they succumb to the not rocking the boat mentality- which of course is lame. I wonder what would happen if you told him specifically what you needed from him. It might actually come as a relief to him to know what to do. Sometimes no ask, no get.
Oh sweetie, boy can I relate! When I lost our babies I felt the same way, alone. It wasn't until we almost lost Tucker in the NICU that I began to realize he carries pain too. I don't know how it is for your husband, but mine would rather cut off his arm than express his emotions. I always thought that our loss didn't affect him, that he never thought about those children. It wasn't until about 2 years ago (4 years after we lost the last baby) that he actually acknowledged them. He said, "Do
You ever wonder what they would be like today?". In was completely blown away! What I have learned is that he deals with his pain differently. Just because he doesn't express it like I wanted doesn't mean he doesn't feel it. Of course this didn't help when I needed him most, but it helps now. I don't know if this helps you, but I wanted you to know that you are not alone, ever! God bless,
Ps: I completely "get" the silver lining thing;-)
I'm so sorry you are feeling so alone right now. I like what Lauren wrote, and completely agree. Men just sometimes don't get it and really need specific direction. It stinks that it doesn't always come naturally to them and that we have to ask for what we want!
I hope you find some peace and also the support you need from your husband.
I'm so sorry you're going through this and that you feel so alone. I've learned through Michael and the miscarriage we had he just didn't know how to deal with my emotion. While it was a loss to him, it wasn't the same loss. He hurt, certainly, but he took that all inside and to have to help me deal with my pain would have made him deal with his pain too. Give him some time. Give yourself some time. You need to grieve, hon. It sucks.
John was the same way with the miscarriage in Sept. He was disappointed, but didn't seem sad like I was. I didn't know what I wanted him to do, but I wanted him to do SOMETHING. I know it's not the same, but at least you do have Share.
Sending you much love,
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