Share Your Story

So a few weeks maybe even months ago I read a blog from one of the moms on here who is truely and inspiration to me. She talked about "owning it" How she own her story and what happens to her and how she chooses to tell her story and be proud of it! SO I have been trying that myself... when people ask me how many children I have I say two. When they ask how old I say "one will be six soon and the other would have been 4 in August". I usually get the "im soo sorry" and I say Im not.. My daughter graced us with her life, and we are all so luck to have been touched by this beautiful life. Although she was only with us for a moment she touched and changed many lives. I am blessed to have loved and carried her for 25 weeks, I am blessed to have had the few moments with her and if I could go back and change the fact I was never pregnant with her I wouldn't. Now this doesnt mean I wouldn't have changed her passing because all us mom know that if we could have our children back we would. but I dont regret her existance in our lives one bit! I usually explain to people that although I lost my daughter I have also gained so much. I appreciate my son (not that I didnt before) but I know that I am truely blessed to hug him every night! I have meet so many of the most amazing, strong, and unforgettable people! without my loss I dont think I would have found my way here to SHARE. I would not be counting down the days till I get to hug each of you again, or to hug many of you for the first time (stacy watch out Im taking you to the ground) I wouldn't have the friendships and the understand I have with you all! I have never felt more like myself as I do here on SHARE! I am a strong supporter of the MOD and every year walk in memory of my daughter so that maybe one day we will prevent other parents from facing the same loss as we have. ALL of this I dont think I would have known and understood the way I do now without my daughters short moments with us! So when Trinity Passed I placed all her keepsakes in a box. You know like hospital bracelets, blankets, gowns, card people had sent, scrapbook I had started the moment I found out I was pregnant, her funeral book, all my stuff from SU09 candle Cd ect... its a rather small box that we have always kept in the corner of our room... I HATE IT! I hated feeling like we put "baby in the corner" I hated that! So today while shopping around Micheal I found these beautiful storage boxes that look like books, on the binding of one it says CHERISH DREAM LIVE on the other it says LOVE HOPE PEACE and I put all Trinitys keepsakes in them and stood them up on top of the entertainment center next to her urn... THEY ARE BEAUTIFUL! I love that her life is out in our living room where we spend most of our time! LOVE IT!! So today Im LIVING PROUD that I am her mom, that she is looking down on me, and that I have had all of you, who have helped guide me down this rocky road! As my husband and I put our fear aside and try to add to our family I know that even when Im scared, I have each of you! When I feel alone I know that a few clicks away I have my comfort again! THANK YOU ALL! Without you I dont know if Id be sitting here LIVING PROUD IN HOLLAND!