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6th grade, where to I even begin. ADHD, homework, class load, projects, per-teen. Then we went to the Dr for Jadon's physical and the doctor mention what I feared the most. Although Jadon had gained weight and height he had dropped in his % on weight. We are down to 18%. He is 4'9 and weighed just 71 lbs. The Doctor suggested trying to up his calories and gave me some ideas on how to pack on some pounds. We had a game plan both for school and weight gain and I really felt like maybe we were going to finally figure things out!
Its been a while since prematurity had knocked Jadon down. Its been a while since asthma and breathing issues have controlled our daily lives. I was starting to believe that, just maybe, all those people who said "maybe one day he will grow out of it" where right. Then on Sunday I noticed Jadon was not acting like himself. Eating less than usual, not as "busy" as usual, and then he took a nap in the middle of the day. Now Jadon stopped napping when he was 2 years old. Within 24 hours I was dusting of the neutralizer and we started breathing treatments every four hours. Come Tuesday I knew we needed a little more help so I called the doctor and got Jadon in to get some steroids. Of course, due to the lack of eating, he had dropped 3lbs. Weight he couldn't afford to lose. The Doctor thinks that maybe its the flu but since he only had a slight fever we would just treat the breathing issues for now. He ordered the one thing I knew he needed, the steroids. After waiting forever the pharmacy finally got the meds filled and we have taken 3 doses so far. BUT today I feel defeated. He still hasn't eaten. He is barely making it to the next dose of treatments. It has just been so long since we have been here. Watching my big kid cry and struggle so much is difficult. He doesn't want me out of his site and get very worked up when he struggling. We are both physically and emotionally drained. We have had very little sleep (treatments ever four hours will do that to you). And I will honestly say I have cried more for my big kid then I'd like to admit. He keeps apologizing to me, and I keep telling him its not his fault and in the back of my mind I think "its not your fault, its my fault because my body failed you". I failed him. I know that my exhaustion is playing into those emotions but is hard to look at him struggling and not fill guilty that I could not keep him safe. I have been sleeping in the living room with him on the love seat so I can get the treatments when he needs them. Plus the love seat reclines and he can sleep propped up. as I sit here typing, I'm watching him breath. He just had a treatment and he is currently sleeping peacefully. He is not struggling. I hope once I close my eyes and fall asleep that he wakes up feeling 100% better tomorrow because I'm not sure how much more I can watch him struggle and not completely fall apart. Tonight I HATE HATE HATE prematurity! I HATE what he is having to go through.
Its times like these I wish my SYS family lived closer. I could use some of those hugs right about now. I don't think many people in my "real world" understand. And right now I need someone to understand.
If you are the praying type he could really use some prayers. He need to turn this around because he can afford to lose any more weight. He can't afford to miss school like this, and honestly he just needs a break.
Samantha - I hope Jaden is feeling better today. I am so sorry you are both having to deal with this. Just as you know it is not Jadon's fault, know that this is not your fault either momma. It's the germs' fault. Just blame the germs. I will be keeping you both in my thoughts.
Sending hugs and feel better wishes.
Samantha, I hate that Jadon is sick. It seems that when our kids get older they should be done with prematurity and weight gain issues as well as all the breathing equipment and medications. It is so hard to see them struggle and be so fragile. You are an awesome mom and Jadon is so lucky that he has you by his side day and night to help him. He will always be thankful for your kind mothering. Try not to blame yourself. It will only make you sad.
If you need help getting him more weight, you know that Bruce has always struggled with that too. We are still on Periactin which helps him feel hungry and encourages him to eat more. He doesn't seem to have any negative side effects either. Also we still use Pediasure 1.5 which has 350 calories for 8 ounces. You could add it to a peanut butter shake maybe to get in the calories. I've seen body builders online talk about all of these kid supplements and they use them for weight gain. Also macadamia nuts (1/2 c=480 cal.), chia seeds (1 Tbs=70 cal.), sesame seeds (1 Tbs=52 cal.), dessert yogurt (tastes so good and has tons of calories), olive oil (2 Tbs=238 cal.), chocolate syrup (2 Tbs=100 cal.), refried beans (1c=237 cal.), coconut milk (1c=552 cal.), trail mix (1c.=700 cal.), cream of broccoli soup (1c=500 cal.), salmon filet = 734 cal.
This might be too much information for now or you may have tried it all (we tried a lot but nothing changed until Bruce was willing to eat food). Good luck friend making it through the sickness for now and then through the battle with food. Thinking about you this week.
Many hugs and a lot of love to you Samantha. I hope he starts feeling better soon.
Sorry Jadon is so sick. I hope he's feeling better soon and back to his busy self. Hang in there, Momma!
I am sorry to hear Jadon is so sick. I hope he is able to bounce back soon. I hear you on the Mommy guilt. It is hard to fight that. I will keep you in my prayers.
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