There are few things in life that no words can ever fully explain. For me those things are the love I have for my husband, a relationship that has changed so much over the last few years. We have been through more than most people could fathom but he is my rock, my heart, and one of the only true connection I have to my daughter. Another is the love I have for my Kids. I can not put into words the fear I felt as each of them entered this world. I can not truly explain the pain of saying goodbye to our daughter and the pain I felt as I watched my boys fight to be here....
Share is another BIG thing in my life that I find very hard to explain by words, ShareUnion too!
Every year I attend I am left with a feeling I can't explain. When you live in a world where you don't feel like people truly understand what you have been through or the struggles of your new normal, having the moments with Share and ShareUnion are life changing.
But I really wanted to share a moment with everyone that I had this weekend. We all know how deep the Remembrance Ceremony is. Its beautiful, amazing, and difficult at the same time. I have always loved this part of the weekend. But this year I left with something different. As each of my boys came up as NICU grad's I saw my friend look for me as my kiddo's pictures appeared on the screen. Then my angel came on the screen, and again I made eye contact with a few people who looked for me. At that moment I was HER MOM! I was being looked at by others because they knew that she was MINE! That is my daughter up there, she existed, she was here, she is remembered, and at that very moment I was seen not as a loss mom, or the mom to just my boys, but as HER MOM! Trinity's Mom! And at that moment a dear friend placed her hand on my shoulder.
To me that sums up why Share is soooo important to me. 1. I am the mom to three babies. Two who are here with me and fought to be here as well as a sweet little girl who left us far to early. 2. By that dear friend placing her hand on my shoulder I was reminded of the love, comfort, and support I have received through the years.
I am thankful for those who saw the vision of Share and those people who were a part of launching the amazing site. I am thankful (although I wish Share wasn't "needed") that there where those who came before me to help guide those who would one day come broken, scared, alone, stumbling onto this site.
Through our struggles we have formed friendships, through friendships we have found strength!
Samantha, I love your post:) You said it. I miss you and I'm sending you hugs until we see each other again next year.
Thank you dear friend! Miss you tons! Hate that we have to wait so long to hug each other again Samantha!
Where's that hugs button? I'd push it for this post. Well said. ((Hugs))
There is so much beauty and love in this post. I think anyone who has attended even on Share Union knows exactly what you're saying. We are so incredibly lucky to have found each other, even though I wish none of needed to be here.
Lots of love to you,
We do definitely need that hug button, asap!
Love n hugs,
Wow Sam... this post is perfect in every way. I also struggle putting into words how profound ShareUnion is to me and all the emotions that it gives me. But what I really love about this post is your epiphany about being Trinity's mom. I love you so much and am always here for you. Trinity will live on forever in my heart and you will always be her mom to me.
Love you so much!
I already miss you.
Samantha - this is so beautiful. I have chills and even more tears reading it. I hope you know how much love, comfort and support you have given to me and so many others. I am honored to know you as Trinity's Mom.
Much love and hugs,
You're so right! There's no need to go through the whole story of where that other child is....Share friends already know and, more importantly, know that you're their mommy!
Beautifully said, Samantha.
I am sure it was an amazing weekend, as always. I really missed being there!
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