This week I hit a rough patch, a bump in the road. I'm not sure what set it off or how it spiraled out of control but it did. I didn't take phone calls from family and friends and just had to be alone, I'm kinda still in the need to be by myself mode. I miss my little girl so deeply. When the wave it feels like the wind has been knocked out of me and I cant breath. I cry over everything, I even burnt dinner the other night and cried, when DH came home he thought it was funny and I cried more! I have struggled to get my bearings this time and have had more trouble climbing out of it. I'm hoping the wave passes quickly and that I am back to the new normal soon.
As far as the TTC again. It is for sure not and soon we will be heading down that road. For once since my journey to become a mom I feel at peace, we have a diagnosis why my body fails, and there is a treatment. Maybe just maybe I will finally get the chance to have a picture perfect pregnancy! I for once have no reservations about this and have put it all in Gods hands. I truly have found such peace in the decision.
Thinking about Halloween costumes I found a cute scarecrow from the wizard of oz and I thought it would be so cute to have Jaxson the scarecrow and Jadon the tin man..... and how cute would it have been to have Trinity here dressed as Dorothy. The holidays are all fast approaching and that is when the harder days of the year hits me.
I look at my boys and I am so blessed. I love them. Jadon is doing good in school this year and feel like I have a good relationship with his teacher and she has been on top of the bulling thing that we had a problem with. One of the little girls in Jadon's class, whose parents have clearly failed at teaching her how to be nice, had ringworm. She walked up and touched Jadon and told him she had ringworm and that now he had it and its deadly. For most people they could write that off a silly kids stuff. But Jadon has had to deal with death so much in the last 9 years. His sister as well as both his grandfathers have died in the past three years. Jadon knows more about death than most 9 years old. so after a long talk I explained to Jadon he surely wouldn't die from ringworm, and sent a nice note to his teacher. And she had been good about everything.
Jaxson is growing way to fast! He went to the church nursery for the first time, big step for both of us. Jaxson walked away with Hand foot and Mouth! Luckily he had a very minor case of it. ugh! Is it to much to ask people to keep their cooties to themselves, lol! He is saying more words and LOVES to be outside! Watching him and Jadon play is amazing. Hearing them giggle together just melts my heart! I hope they always have this special bond
Things have been crazy here as usual and sometimes I feel like I'm struggling to keep up. I should know this week if I am doing a public service announcement for my local MOD that would be aired on our local news station. I super excited and I hope all the wrinkles get worked out.
this was an early bday gift from my dad. its calles "mommy's love goes with you" I love it!!!
Lighting a candle for my angel Oct 15th
Growing way to fast!!!! <3
I know where you are at. I have been there before and will be there again soon I am sure. The holidays are always a reminder of what we are missing. For me the holiday season starts off with Arianna's birthday and just sets the entire season in motion. I hope you know that I am always here if you need me. Always here to talk about your precious baby girl and for you to know that I get it. Your an amazing person Samantha and you do so many things for those around you. I hope that your are able to feel better soon.
Awww.....love the Precious Moments figurine. That's so sweet! Is that a snake on the floor by Jaxson????? So not a fan---even then they're plastic!!!!
Okay---so on the important part of the blog.....sending big hugs for you for each day the funk stays near. You know I'm working on the "Funk-A-Way" spray so I'll send you some when I finalize the product! You're doing great girl....hand in there!!
Im prayingfor you samantha. I know the holidays are hard. Your boys are adorable and i love the precious moments
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