How do you begin to describe a weekend that changed your life....
Nine years ago I found myself lost, confused, scared, and just plain broken. I was online late one night because the night time was always the worst. I googled something like "My baby died and I need support" and stumbled onto SHARE. Share gave me a place to go, I call SHARE my safe place now. I lurked for a bit, shared my short story and then later began blogging. I found people who were traveling the same journey. Although all our stories were different, we were all battling the fact our pregnancies had gone terribly wrong. I met other moms who had to say goodbye as I had to do. Some were a few month, and some were years out since there loss. Hearing the word "I've been there" and knowing they Actually had was huge. Many people in my real world had told me "I know how you feel" yet they had not clue. They have never had to say goodbye to there child. But HERE on Share when I would hear those word I knew that they actually did know how I felt. My feeling were validated.
In October of 2008 I got the chance to attend my first Share Union. I was terrified. Although I felt I had grown to know the people I communicated with as close friends, I had never traveled by myself. I was nervous. Scared. Overwhelmed with the idea. But I knew deep down I needed to do it. Not only for myself but those around me who love me. I was not longer the person I was before out loss, almost like I was losing myself. I needed to find myself again and knew Share Union was just the place to find it.
It bring tears to my eyes as I think back to my first SU. I remember walking up to the meet and greet Friday night and seeing Yolonda, she turn and hugged me. At that moment I knew I was exactly where I needed to be. Two years of grief I had bottled up inside had slowly slipped away. I didn't have to explain myself they all knew my story. The virtual hugs I had received online turned into real ones. Meeting Tracy (My Angel Love) I felt like I was meeting someone famous. For year I could always count one her words the get me through the darkest days. So much healing happened that weekend. As the weekend came to an end and I hugged all my friends, I promised myself I would never miss another one.
Through the years I have met some of the most amazing people. I have laughed, cried, and laughed some more. I made memories and life long friendship. An most importantly I have grown. I am still healing as it is an ongoing process but I am who I am today because of Share and the people I have been blessed to meet.
This will be my 7th Share Union. I am looking forward to seeing all my old friends and making new ones. I look forward to another weekend of love, friendship, laughter, and healing.
and meeting you, Jami, and Stacy and so many others felt the same way for me 3 years ago. I love not only the fact that Share continues to be a support for us but that each of us are able to keep paying it forward and able to give virtual hugs to moms just starting their new normal. ( How I wish we didn't have to but glad we are able too)