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I am often told when telling people about my daughter how strong I am... STRONG that not the word I would have used. When losing my daughter I felt and still feel as though I have lost a piece of myself. The reality that my daughter will be celibrating her 4th birthday in heaven is just soo unreal to me! FOUR years of being what ever one else call "strong". On Sat I was having a conversation with the new girl at work and she again says "wow you are soo strong" I then go on to tell her that I havent always been this strong.... Taking a deep breath I tell her how in the beging I wasnt... Then I found SYS and you all are the reason I am so strong. You are my rock! You all believe in me when I have lost faith in myself. You all give me the kick in the butt I need when Im being to hard on myself. Many of you are some of my best friends and probably dont even realize it! Without you all I dont think I would be who I am today! I dont think I would have been able to "own" my story without you all (Lauren) Life takes us each down our own paths, and though SYS at one point our paths have crossed and although the loss of my daughter has been a VERY significant loss, I wouldn't have found you all. I have always tried to look at things like everything happens for a reason. Even through the loss of my sweet angel! I have to know the pain and loss I feel daily wasnt for nothing... I had a beautiful angel who I wouldn't give up the few moment I did have with her for the world... I have found SYS and some of my closest (yet furthest away friends ((GUAM)) I have found these amazing people that I probably wouldn't have had the chance to know. I have been blessed to know Kate and her AMAZING son Kyle. I have found Paige and her amazing heart. Yolonda my Big sister that God forgot to give me. I have found Lauren who is just amazing, her insite keeps me going. I have found Stacy who I can not WAIT to hug, and we can talk about our daughters, be proud of our daughters! And Jen, just a phone call away when I need her. AND MANY MANY others who mean the world to me, and thanks to many of you for the text wishing me a Happy Mothers Day!!! Though this pain I have found MOD. MOD is the reason my son is here today and the reason many children will be here tomorrow! I love being a part of it all! To help one family who will one day walk in our shoes. I love SYS and being able to be there as another mom who has just become the mommy to an angel and feels as lost as I did at one point. I remember the feeling I felt when I knew I wasnt alone and that many of you had been in my shoes and LIVED. I didnt think I would in the begining! And here I am 4 years later and overall Im doing okay.... AND VERY EXCITED ABOUT SU10! Then I heard a song the other day. Crash and Burn by savage garden. A friend of mine gave me this CD and told me to listen to it back in High School. He was one of my best friends and I actually got to meet up with him in DC when I was there for SU09! Listening to this song reminded me of you all! Sorry this Blog has been all over the place! LISTEN TO THIS SONG AND LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6uB4lT5CblA