Share Your Story

After losing my daughter I felt alone, no one could understand me, and NO ONE wanted to talk about it. I couldn't talk to my mom or DH, or even some of my closest friends it was to hard for them... So I put on a front I was fine I realized people handled "fine" better than my true feelings. So when people asked how I was doing It was "okay". Then I found share, I could let it all out then, an on-line room where I felt as though people GOT IT! I could be myself weather fine or falling apart. No one really knew me so if I was ticked of at GOD or the world I could say it. I quickly realized that I could make it through as long as I had Share. My "real" world all seem to think time was healing my pain, and that I was moving on. But deep down I knew I couldn't move on and pretend as though I was okay. So I faked it in my real world. So I hide my pain and Share from my "real" world. Three years ago I went to my first SU I was terrified and had never done anything like this before. I packed my bags headed to DC not knowing what I was in for! I will never be the same. For the first time in years I felt like I belonged. No one in my "real" world would ever get this. But I went home and told everyone all about it. My mom being the skeptic she is had a problem with my relationship with SHARE. She felt it was like rubbing salt in a wound, that I would never be able to "heal and move on". No matter how much I tried to explain SHARE she never got it. Today my mom and I sat down and of course I was so excited about the upcoming SU. So excited to be going to DC in 53 days (but whose counting... ME!!!! :goofy: ) I started talking to her about SHARE again wanting so much for her to understand why I love SHARE and why you all mean so much to me, this is what I told her. "In the beginning I needed Share, it got me through on my hardiest days. All your words of hope and encouragement gave me hope to get to the next day. Seeing other parents who where on my journey but a little further ahead gave me hope that I too can make it. As time has gone by, five years, I still lean on SHARE on my difficult days, but now Im at a place to offer hope to those who are beginning the journey I've been on for five years. Letting other moms know that they are not alone, give them hope that they can make it to the next day." For the first time my mom understood and was now proud of my involvement in SHARE as well as my work as the MOD. Finally someone in my "real" world understands!