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Yep 2 blogs in 24 hours... have a feeling there may be plenty more and this month and next month seems to tick by.

Its 4am and I cant sleep I have so much on my mind.  August has always been such a hard month for me. 

Jadon:  In 5 days my first born will be 9 years old.  9 years ago I was anticipating his arrival.  I never imagine he would enter this world 5.5 weeks early.  I remember the night he was born.  It was 2:12 in the morning and when he finally made his appearance he was completely blue.  I was terrified.  He was quickly rush out of the room and to the NICU down the hall.  I wouldn't get to see him till 8 hours later.  I remember 3 days later a hurricane hit and Derek and I slept in a waiting room at the hospital, just to be near him.    I remember when we finally got to bring him home 7 days after he arrived, we had no power from the hurricane.  We had to stay at my grandfathers because he was the only one in the family who had power.    Although the last nine years have been a roller-coaster with er trip, hospitalizations , dr apt, breathing treatments, ADHD appointments.  Its a ride I would take a million time over to have him with me.  Today Jadon is an amazing little boy.  He is smart, funny, silly, loving.  He truly has a heart of gold.  He is an amazing BIG BROTHER. and Jaxson just love chasing him around.   Jadon is such a big help and often keeps an eye on him when I have to switch laundry or do dishes.   Jadon is one of the most intuitive child I have ever met.   Jadon also love his sister and will tell anyone we meet that asks about siblings that he has a baby sister and she is in heaven.    He also asks a lot of questions about her.  We have always been open and honest to him about her, always trying to stay appropriate for his age.  As he gets old and more aware of LIFE around him, he want to know more. 

Trinity:  In 2 weeks we will be celebration Trinity's 7th birthday in heaven.  I honestly cant believe it have been 7 years.  When you think back to those early days and you can barely get out of bed, and your mad because your world has stopped, your child is gone yet the world around is moving, faster than before it seems.    In those beginning days I never thought I would make it and here I am 7 years later and overall I'm doing okay.     Not a day goes by that I dont think of her.  Sometime a butterfly flying by, or a song on the radio, or like yesterday and FB post.    I try my hardest to hold on to every memory, as the years pass Im terrified that I will forget, the memories are not as strong as they once were.  I miss her terribly and ohh how I wish she was here to play with her brothers.  

Jaxson:  In a week Jaxson will be 11 months old, he has changed so much from the 4lb1oz baby.  He started really taking off today walking.   He loves to climbs and has no fear.  He want to eat EVERYTHING even things that are not edible.   I spend my days just chasing him and trying to stop him from eating things.  He loves to dance to music and its hilarious.  Hes an overall happy baby.  Defiantly a momma's boy,  but loves his Daddy.  The other day DH walked in and Jaxson yelled from  his walker "hiiiiii  dada"  it was so funny.  He will yell for Jadon "dadon" down the hall.  And he loves when his big bro is reading him a story.  And although Jadon does get a little annoyed, Jaxson loves to *help* Jadon play minecraft on the ipad.  I love watching them interact.  

I truly  feel blessed to have had each of my kids.  They have all changed me for the better.  I could imagine having lived my life without these beautiful souls forever connected to mine.