This week has been hard. I'm not sure where, how, or why this all got kicked up but I have had a few rough days.
Every year I see the post around Valentine's Day about the Father Daughter Sweet Heart Ball's and every year my heart sinks. Seeing all these little girls all dressed up heading out the door with their daddy's on their arms. Seeing the daughters look up at their dads like the are their knight in shining armor. I HATE that I will not have that moment watching my daughter look up to her daddy with all that love.
Jaxson will be our last and that alone is a hard pill to swallow. I looked at him last week and it hit me, my baby is not a baby anymore. He is smart, funny, and can hold a complete conversation with you like a big kid. We just signed him up for his 2nd season of t-ball. He will start PreK in the fall.
Jadon is already 12, in 7th grade and well he has his own "life" and friends outside of our home. We are no longer the *cool* people in his life.
Where did my babies go. Some where along the line when I wasn't looking they grew up. Like they went to bed one day a baby and woke up as big kids.
I hate that the decision to have more kids was taken from me because my body fails to do what it needs to do. I hate that I have to mother a memory of my daughter instead of mothering her here on earth. I hate that my husband and I did not get to make that decision together, that instead a dr looked me in the eyes and told me "you know you cant do this again".
I wish I could slow this growing up process down. Because I am just not ready for them to grow up.
I can so relate right now! Abbey has already mastered the eye roll and the "I can do it myself" phrase. I keep telling myself it wouldn't hurt so much if she wasn't my one and only.
Love and Hugs
I think the hardest part of this parenting thing is knowing we are raising them to let them go. I have one turning 18 on Saturday and on the doorstep to college. I can't fathom how quickly these 18 years have gone by.
Hugs on the dances. I imagine that's so hard to see.
I know what you mean about those future memories once envisioned. It's unfair that you won't get to experience those moments. I keep seeing things in 3's and it's driving me nutz! It's all happening so fast. Just yesterday I went to a conference about a variety of future legal things for T and I had to think about when he'd be turning 17.5 (2025). Urgh, it's not tomorrow, but it sure doesn't seem too far away either.
Those two boys sure look cute in their shirts:) I hope that they had a wonderful holiday. I'm glad to read that Jadon has his group of friends and that Jaxson is ready for another season of tee-ball.
Absolutely love their smiles in that picture. It's hard to believe they are that big. I know the feeling of time going so fast and I hate that you don't get the daddy/daughter moments. Love you.
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