MARCH OF DIMES | MARCH FOR BABIES | NACERSANO

Samarella's Journal

TODAY [2]

Wow... If you have been folloeing my journal you all know that today way the day I was dreading the most. Today is my angel, ^TRINITY^'s EDD. I was terrified that I would be upest all day and that I would cry all day.... BUt to my surprise, I have done well. Of course she is all that is on my mind (even though I started a new job today) I miss her like crazy. BUt I haven't criend for one I am remembering her with out the basket case water works. Im glad to, of course its sad but today was my test to function outside of my hope without losing it all the time, and of all days, her EDD, I did just that. I functioned like a normal human in society without breaking down or having a panic attak of some kind. I love my daughter and I miss her so much. I prayed to her this morning to keep me strong and she did just that. (even went to the local book store to ask the sales associate for help finding the book, "Mommy please dont cry, there are no tears in heaven" and I held it together) TO all that care to know my job went great and I think Im really going to like it. Im so glad to get out of the house for a bit. Thank you all to me this is a big step for me and I owe it all to you here. -Samantha

  • I am so glad that you did well.  That means you are healing - and finding peace.  It's hard - and due dates and anniversaries make it even harder.  But you are strong...you can do this!

    Trinity is so proud of her mommy.

    Take care -

    Denise

  • Samantha,

    First off, CONGRADS!!  On your new job!!  

    2nd-I know how difficult certain dates and times of the year trigger overwhelming emotions.  Sometimes it hits you out the the clear blue.  

    It sounds like you are doing great though!!  :)

    I am glad to hear that your "due date" was an easier day then you anticipated.

    Grief is a difficult journey, and we are always here to give you hand and walk with you.

    Your Trinity is so proud of her mommy.  :)

    HUGS,

    Colleen

  • Samantha - I just logged on to see how you were doing today; what a joy to see this blog.  I am so happy for you that you were able to start this day and function...

    You are entitled to cry, but knowing that you can move through the day must be such a comfort to you as well.

    Thinking of you on this special day,

    Becky