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Hey everyone its been a while since Ive been here. I didnt come here to talk about my 2 angel boys I came to see how everyone's travelling been an old angel mum now its been 29 and 27yrs since I lost my boys. But is a mum to 2 now adult girls with one been a preemie survivor. I was only 20 and 22 when my boys passed only young really .

I still come here now and again to read all your posts but I dont comment. I can so relate to all your posts, all your questioning of what ifs, the feelings of what the hell just happened, preemie labour, long stints in hospital, NICU, the highs the lows. the grieving process and of course that roller coaster ride of emotions that you feel you have no control of. Ive been there an emotional wreak with snot bubbles with a million questions starting with wth happens now. Its ok its normal 

Things do go back to "normal" in time but its a different type of "normal" you continue with your life differently though I think you go back into "the real world" a lot more mature, stronger and defiantly with a special angel/s tucked into your heart that will always be there no matter how long time goes by.

But please dont push your love ones, friends even strangers away I know you feel they  dont get how your feeling and they wont ok unless theyve been there. But they want too and yeah they just dont know how too and  youll be approached by people asking how are you? I dont thnk they expect you to to say Im good, doing great  Because they know your not and they know this is a hard time for you but its there way of checking on you but unsure really what to say. I use to say Im getting there just taking it 1 day at a time. Then youll get the ones that will say Arent you over this yet well there the ones in your head you want to scream at but there the ignorant ones that have no idea what its like. I found keeping these people at a distance was my way of coping with them

 Even though you think you dont you need support around you it is important that you do. Dont try and do it alone.  If you feel you need to talk, talk to anyone who will listen Even posting here helps it did me. Even if you go to someone like a grief councillor, or someone whos lost a child and just talk, Like really talk its good and if you want too cry then cry 

I just wanted to reassure you that you never forget your angel baby. Dont ever think you will because it just doesnt happen. Even when you move on with your life that little angel/s will always be there, close to you nothing in the world will change that. Always treasure those memories of your angel baby those memories and the love for your angel baby alone are worth a million dollars and you wont forget them there there even when your not really thinking about them they will just pop nto your head. 

Sending heaps of hugs to all Angel mums and preemies fighting in NICU and the preemie survivors

Scardycat xxx