Everyone suffers from some kind of loss. The loss of a love one in your life and it hurts. It can just not hurt at the time it hurts so bad you thnk to yourself how the hell am I going to get through this. Is the pain Im hurting now ever going to get easier or am I going to feel this way forever. The thing is that I have found that the pain never really leaves but you learn to live a new normal life without this person that was the one you loved has gone. Of cause this takes times and you go through stages of the grieving process. you cry until you cant cry no more, you say the what ifs. you want to stay in bed and not face the real world, and the question of why. Later you get angry. play the blame game and then you can just go through a stage where you just feel numb. But I had to move on. Because if you start going down the dark path it becomes hard to pull yourself out of it. Seeing the light at the end of the tunnel is the way you should start heading because Ive been down that dark depressing path and I dont want to go there again ever. I wanted to stay there but my head told me no I cant. So I climbed back up slowly got my life sort of back on track. It wasnt something I did in a few days it took months to get my life back to some sort of normal. With in time things do look brighter and the pain does become less and your life does return to normal maybe not the normal you once knew but the new normal. Even when your life turns back to "normal" that person you loss will always have a place in your heart because as you move forward you dont forget the one you loss ever. Hopefully you never go to that dark place like I did its a very lonely and depressing place and if you do. I hope you manage to be able to see the light at the end of the tunnel and come above that tunnel to live a fairly "normal happy' life.
You are indeed right about grief ... and making the decision to move forward. As hard as it is, I think it's the healthiest. I struggled after losing my sons at 22w5d in March 2007, but knew I needed to keep going.
Thinking of you as you continue to walk this journey.
Erin
Thank you so much for this post scardycat. Everyone's journey is so different and yet so alike. You just have to take it one day, one minute at a time. I hope you'll keep us updated through your journey. We're here for you.
Sending you lots of love <3
-Laura