This year was my second Mother's Day with my son and it still feels weird to have so people wish me a "Happy Mother's Day". Before my son was born I was often forgotten about on Mother's Day. When you have an Angel baby, people don't really view you as a mom. I would hear things like: "just wait until you're a mom" or "you will understand when you become a mother some day". I would respond by saying "I am a mother" and they would of course try to defend what they just said and state how its different when you are raising a child. I am appreciative of the one's who take the time to wish me a Happy Mother's Day, but at the same time a small part of me wants to tell people that if they couldn't wish me a Happy Mother's Day three years ago, then don't wish me one now.
I work full time, so my son goes to daycare. They made Mother's Day projects. After I finished gushing over the cuteness of the plant and the some-what painted bird house, I started to wonder what time of projects would Allison have made. I wondered about Muffins for Moms. This September will be 8 years since Allison died. I've missed out on 8 years of art projects and muffins. But I have also had 8 years of growth. I am stronger than what I was 8 years ago. I am much wiser.
The past few days I have been listening to "Let Me Be Sad" by I Prevail on repeat when traveling to and from work. I really wish this song was out back in 2011. It's important to know that it is okay to be sad. It doesn't matter if you have six years under your belt or a few months, it's okay to grieve for your child and for the things that you missed out on.
It's always interesting to look back at the person who once was and see how far one has come in their grief journey. The days, months, and years have been hard without our little ones. You said it:) No matter how much time passes, we'll be missing them.
Hugs and muffins,
March of Dimes fights for the health of all moms and babies. We're advocating for policies to protect them. We're working to radically improve the health care they receive. We're pioneering research to find solutions. We're empowering families with the knowledge and tools to have healthier pregnancies. By uniting communities, we're building a brighter future for us all.
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