• Oh Brandi.... I can't imagine how hard it was to have to make all those decisions. Nothing can prepare you for any of that. I lost my father 5 years ago... with little warning and that was so incredibly difficult. I can't begin to comprehend what it feels like to have to make those decisions for a child.

    You said two things that resonated with me.. and I think you have to hold on to those two things... 1. Josie knows how very loved she is.. no matter where she is laid to rest. Her time with you, while never long enough... was full of only love. And 2. Feeling these feelings, and getting them out is healing for you.. or at the very least helpful. It's allowing you to move forward and not be consumed by feelings that really only continue to hurt you.

    I'm glad you came to Share and were able to write this, feel it and continue moving forward.. always with Josie in your heart.

    Big hugs,


  • It's so unfathomable to have all of those decisions being thrown your way. I can relate to that and also the going along with what someone else suggests because you're still processing or someone takes over. I have regrets about not having a funeral service. I try not to beat myself up about it, but the guilt is still there. I echo Karri. She felt love and will always be in your heart wherever your life takes you. Writing and just sharing is healing. Late last night, I unloaded some tears as Thanksgiving approaches and the triggers, memories, and family hurt is everywhere.

    Sending you strength and some extra hands when it's time to set, serve, and clear the table:)


  • Hi Brandi, this is so beautiful and honest and moving. Thank you for sharing. I feel you on those regrets. They can consume you for the rest of your life. And I can only imagine how traumatic that funeral must have been. But no one could've done a better job than you did of making the decisions that needed to be made at the time, in the best way you could. And yes, Josie will always know that she was profoundly loved and cherished by her mother. That is by far the most important thing of all, and that's also the thing that you did absolutely right. I'll be thinking of you and keeping your spirit of gratitude in mind through the holidays.