Hello and Welcome to Share. I know this can't have been what you expected when you were preparing for your new baby boy. The best advice I can give, is to take a breath, and take every moment just like that. Try not to be so hard on yourself as far as visiting with your baby. It's so very hard to balance this, especially if he is being treated at a hospital so far from your home. Don't be afraid to ask lots of questions, communicate with your nurses and doctors. If you can't be there that day, calling to check on him my settle your worries. Be as gentle with yourself as you can. Your baby knows how much you both love him. Don't be afraid to lean on others and take support when its offered to you. Wishing you strength and peace.