New to group

Hi there. I kept going back and forth to join, or to even talk about my miscarriage. I had many different feelings if I could even join this forum. I had a miscarriage at 15 weeks last week. I had my D&C done on the day I was supposed to be 16 weeks. I have 2 beautiful girls at home and of course I should feel complete.... but when I found out I was pregnant again I felt God had a different plan for our family. We found out we were having another girl and we were even going to name her Abigail. Then I went to my routine doctor's appointment and a heartbeat could not be found. I felt my world crashing around me. I think what has been the worse is having to tell our girls and trying to get them to understand how their new little sister just wasn't strong enough. Seeing their faces killed me inside. I feel like I haven't had a chance to really feel this miscarriage or breakdown because I am trying to be strong for my family. I started returning stuff to feel some type of closure. I feel like I want to return everything because it was supposed to be hers. I keep going back and forth to try again. I felt pregnant, I felt her move, I felt the joy... is it worth the risk to possibly have my heart broken again? Should I return everything and start new if we do try again? Is it wrong to think to try again?