Pain of losing my son at 21w5d

Hi everyone. My name is Sefunmi.

I lost my son Ooreoluwa(the goodness of the Lord) three days ago-10/5/19 at 21w5d. I am struggling hard not to blame myself or anyone for the loss. We had waited 9 years before this pregnancy. I have suffered two miscarriages in the past--one before my daughter(who I carried to full term without any medical support. She is 11 years) and the second one 9 years ago.  I wish to try again but the pain of this loss lingers.