SIDS mom in grief and pregnant with rainbow.

Hello, I’m new. My name is April. My first born daughter, Aurora, was born 11/16/17. She died at about 5 months old on 4/10/18 of SIDS.  I have Bipolar Disorder so grieving on top of that has not been easy. I definitely wanted more children, but husband wanted another right away and I found myself pregnant again in March 2019, sooner than I would have liked. We are expecting Aurora’s little rainbow brother on 10/31/19 (Halloween). During both pregnancies, I have to be without and off all psych meds for my Bipolar and prenatal depression and postpartum depression as well as Bipolar depression and grief have all definitely taken their toll. I feel I was pressured into a new pregnancy too soon and feel like I didn’t have enough time to process enough of my grief before getting pregnant again. I haven’t been able to find very many other SIDS parents even though I’ve been looking and desperately want to connect with someone else who is dealing with the aftermath of SIDS. Also, anyone else out there dealing with unmedicated mental illness while pregnant could be helpful too. Hurting and feeling alone and overwhelmed. This is my story.

3 Replies

  • In reply to J.mag.haz:

    Hii i lost my baby girl oct 15 2021 she was 3 month old she also passed away in the early morning but she awake and sudden close her eyes and never open
  • In reply to LauraGordillo:

    Hi April, my name is julia. I lost my baby boy April 8th 2022. He was almost 8 months old. He passed away in his sleep early that morning. I was wondering if you would be able to talk. I was wondering if having you baby after losing you first one helped at all? My husband wants to have another baby but I don't know if I'm ready for it yet. I would also like to day I am sorry for your loss. Bless your heart ❤
  • Hi April,

    Thank you for sharing your story. First of all, we wanted to express our sincerest condolences for the loss of your daughter. Losing a baby is an incredibly painful experience and the journey to healing is not easy. Have you talked to your health care provider or prenatal care provider about your depression and your feelings? If you haven’t we encourage you to do so. It’s best if a team of providers treats your depression during pregnancy (like your prenatal care provider and a mental health provider). These providers can work together to make sure you and your baby get the best care.

    We do not provide medical advice or referrals, however you may find the information in our “Depression during pregnancy” article helpful. In it, we list some examples of the various treatment options for depression during pregnancy: We highly encourage you to speak to your health care provider to figure out a treatment plan that will help you manage your symptoms.

    We also recommend that you speak to your provider about connecting you to a therapist, social worker or counselor in your area. You don’t have to go through this alone. Talking to someone who is trained to help provide the right emotional support is so important. A mental health provider may be able to recommend local SIDS support groups as well. You may find the following resources to be helpful:

    • Resources for coping with loss due to SIDS:
    • Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance (DBSA):

    Information about bipolar disorder and treatment:

    • A forum for individuals with bipolar disorder:
    • Online peer to peer support group, including SIDS support group

    We hope these resources will help provide some guidance and support in addition to the resources and support your provider may suggest.