My daughter who didn't get to stay


So i am a mom of 3. My first two pregnancies I didn't have any issues. my third pregnancy from the get go I knew something was happening and my doctors dismissed me every time. I spotted my whole pregnancy and had severe back pain and cramping and horrible migraines. 

We went out Feb 13,2020 for my birthday dinner that morning i ran to the store to get some things for work and started cramping as i was in check out and felt a little gush got home and i had started spotting I was 21 weeks and 5 days. I push thru and go to work and the cramping gets worse and start getting more back pain. Go home and relax until its time for dinner. I still have cramping but push thru. As we get seated at the restaurant I feel a major gush like i peed myself. I run to the bathroom its like i was peeing blood. Called my on call doctor wasn't too concerned. So we continue to have dinner and plan to visit the ER after dinner... well thru dinner the bleeding  got worse. We got home so i could change my pants and as i walked to my door i had bled thru my pad my underwear and my pants and was dripping blood on the floor. my husband had just saw it for the first time and he was speechless. We rush and drop our kids off at grandmas and rush to the ER. 

Before we walk in my husband and I both look at each other because i hadn't felt our daughter move since we got to dinner. And he looked at me and said I know im usually positive but i want you to prepare yourself when we don't hear her. We wait in the waiting room for almost 2 hours before we are called back. They finally realize that Im in my second trimester and need to go to labor and delivery. They come and get us and it felt like hours but finally they get her heartbeat and its so strong its 145! And we just couldn't do anything but cry. Our baby girl was still there and she was strong. They admit us to monitor my bleeding I was suppose to be dismissed after my visit with the doctor in the morning. 

The next day the doctor comes in and says before i leave she wants to do an ultrasound. So we go in and do the ultrasound they were under the influence that I had a tear and that was why my bleeding was so heavy because in past ultrasounds I had small tears. (which was the first time i was hearing anything about it) We wait a few hours before we get told anything. The doctor came in and pulled a chair up and was like there no easy way to say this but your water broke we aren't sure what caused the bleeding or why your water broke but your baby will not make it past 24 hours tops 48 hours and we have to admit you because its very possible you will not make it due to infection.  The doctor made it seem like there was nothing they could do and my baby was going to die and possibly me. 

In the morning we are visited by another doctor who came in to talk to us and see if we have any questions and basically wanted to know what our plan was now that we were past the 24 hour mark. and that there wasn't a lot they could do with me only being 21 weeks. But that we did have options but if we decided we wanted to fight i would have to transfer hospitals because they were not equipped to deal with what was going on. So they put us on antibiotics and left us to grasped the information

a few hours later they told us  we had a 3% survival rate.... NO ONE WANTS TO HEAR THAT. In that moment i wished i had doctors from Grey's. 

We transferred to another hospital and i made it to 22 weeks and 5 days. I was just starting to feel better and started to actually get out of bed, I ate my breakfast and called my nurse to come in to do my monitoring and then i felt cramping but i thought it was because i had to poop so i go to the bathroom but it didnt go away it got worse. the nurse comes in and trys to get her heartbeat... she cant find it... she calls in another nurse she cant find it.... they call in an ultrasound tech and my little girls heartbeat was going from 80 to 40 they call a code and the doctors come in and they gave her a minute and her heartbeat went to 150 for a minute then she kept going to the 80s so they are preparing me to do an emergency csection the whole time the doctor is trying to get me to change my plan of trying to save my daughter and tells me she will die and i could too. 

I had never been so scared in my life my husband and our 8 month old daughter were on the pull out right next to me and i couldnt see or talk to them and he wasnt aloud in the room with me for the csection 

I had my daughter Nala Briella on Feb 20th 2020 they told us she will not make it past a few hours my baby was a fighter she made it 25 and a half hours. the first time i held her i said hello and goodbye all at the same time

Monday i go to do her burial plans

I never knew this happened and the fact this happens so often and still no one has told me why??

2 Replies

  • Hello and welcome to Share. I just read your story and I am so terribly sorry for the loss of your baby Nala. No doubt she is on your mind every waking second. No new parent should have to make such plans. I said hello and goodbye to our baby boy too. At the time, his older brothers were 3 and 19 months old. Hold onto your husband and your 8 month old daughter. They will be your rocks through this painful journey.

    Thinking of you,

  • Hi , thank you for sharing your story. I'm so sorry for the loss of your baby girl Nala Briella - such a beautiful name! I hope you know you are not alone. Our community is filled with families who understand what you're going through and we're here for you! I hope you continue to update us on your journey.

    Sending lots of love and strength to you and your family.