Never Forgotten

Hello my name is Tasha. My husband and and I have a 13 year old and have tried for years to have another baby.  I miscarried about 3 years ago and at the end of last year I found out we were pregnant . Not wanting to get my hopes up we waited for the 2nd trimester before we bought anything and thought of names. After we went for my 6 month check up everything was fine. I was able to feel the baby move several times. We started working on the nursery we bought a bed and I was making a wish list on Amazon..We even settled on names, Girl:Hope Taylor  Boy : Wraith Charles.  It was exciting, my 13 year was so excited to be a brother.  

I took some time off work during to the pandemic and was glad to be home with my family, the baby was moving more and I soaked up every minute I had with the baby.

One Saturday I was not feeling well i called my OB and the nurse said it was probably ligament pain. So I took it easy but by Sunday I really felt bad and realized I haven't felt the baby move so I called the doctor again she told me to come in Monday they would check everything out.

Just a little back story when I had my first baby I was induced and had an emergency c section.  No labor pains ..

So by Monday morning my husband was rushing me to the hospital because I didn't know it at the time I was in labor.  I knew something was wrong more than just ligament pain, and I couldn't feel the baby move . It was an active baby . It's a hard realization when you know it's too late but are still hopeful.  

I delivered a little boy that day I named him Wraith Charles . My son picked the first name and middle name after my husband's grandpa. Holding him  was the best and worst feeling I've ever had.

I feel like a failure as a mom I was suppose to take care of him and wanted him before he even knew. I miss him dearly but think of him often and the times I felt him move and the times I read or sang to him. I still feel like I can't catch my breath and I'll never be able to.

I try to  live each day as if I were living it for him, trying new things,loving more,being in the present and showing my 13 year old unconditional love.

We don't ever know how much time we have but we each need to make a mark in this world some how. Even if we didn't even realize we did. Just like Wraith did.

1 Reply

  • Hi Tasha thank you for sharing your story. I have also had a stillbirth this year and a loss 3 years back but I believe things will get better and everything happens for a reason we just have to stay strong