Hi I’m jennifer

I lost my baby girl Elyse on July 6th overnight. Found out July 7th she was gone. July 9 th c section. July 14th her funeral. Post funeral I’m struggling. My dad has yet to talk to me really at all or acknowledge this happened. I don’t want to go back to normal life b/ c I’m not normal. I want to cry every day. I don’t want to forget her or move past her. It feels like a betrayal. Or maybe I’m not ready. I’m 37. I just want what other people take for granted and have so easily. I want to be a “real” mom. I’m a teacher and school is starting soon. Maybe that will be a good distraction but what if I have some kind of post partum mental breakdown? I hope this group helps me with some healing. I just feel so vulnerable and raw.

2 Replies

  • In reply to MamaofJane:

    Thank you. This isn’t the way I wanted to be a mom. This isn’t what I would have chosen. I’m mad at God a little. I don’t understand. Our house is too quiet. I wanted to get to know her, and now I have to wait so long. I’m struggling post funeral. People have already started to back away and text less, etc. My husbands a little weird. I don’t know.
  • So sorry for your loss. We lost our baby girl Jane back in April. She was our first so I totally know the feeling of just wanting to be a mom. But we are mothers! Even though we don't get to mother our children now, we took care of our babies while they were inside us. You are Elyse's mom and you are the best mom for her. I will pray that we both get the opportunities to be moms for many more children.