Loss of our little angel

I just lost my baby at 34 weeks pregnancy last 3 weeks. After 6 years of marriage, last year August we finally got double line on the pregnancy test. We are so excited and happy knowing that we will be having our baby girl after so long of waiting. My pregnancy has been very smooth till I'm at the end of my 32 weeks. I got diagnosed with GDM. I've been extra careful with my food intake eversince I got that news from my doc. At my early 34th weeks of pregnancy, I didn't really feel my baby movement and we rushed to hospital for further check. It broke our heart when the doctor inform us that our baby is no longer breathing. They can't find her heartbeat and I need to be induced to get the baby out. We did go for a check up 2 days before that and was told that she is healthy and perfectly fine. The news really struck our heart. Plus it happen 2 days before our 7th years anniversary.

After 3 days and 4x of induce, I finally managed to gave birth to 2.1kg baby girl at 0140 am. She is so beautiful as what I always imagine. I managed to hold her for few hours and prepared for her burial few hours after that. My mind keep on thinking where did I do wrong? I have taken care of my food intake and do as much as possible to keep my health at optimum level. Why is this still happening? The amniotic fluid, placenta are both in good condition and I didn't even bleed. Even the doctor can't really explain the reason behind her death.

Everytime, when I see her clothing and other baby stuff, I can't help myself but crying the whole day. Tried not to think too much since im still on my confinement but I can't help myself from thinking about her. Her due date suppose to be on 30th April 2021. I can still remember her kicking and movement.

1 Reply

  • Hi , I am so sorry for your loss. Know that you are not alone. Our community is filled with families who know what you're going through and can hold your hand through your journey. This was not your fault.

    Sending all my love to you and your husband. Thank you for sharing your story. We're here for you <3