Stillbirth, loss, termination, cott death

Hello My name is Karen, I am a mother of 8 altogether in 2008 I had a beautiful stillborn daughter named Cora born at 28 weeks, I then lost my 2nd little baby at 13weeks in 2010 I had a beautiful baby boy in 2011. Then had my gorgeous daughter in 2018 after that I discovered at 12 weeks gestation that my 5th baby had a fatal foetal abnormaity and I had to terminate my daughter at 15 weeks which broke my heart. I then became pregnant again and delivered at 28 weeks after being diagnosed with preeclampsia my son was in the nicu for 10 weeks before he came home and after one week home we lost Troy to a cot death on the 2nd of July this year. I also with my partner have full custody of his two beautiful children. Being a mother is the best thing I have ever done but lately is the most terrifying job I have as nothing scares me more than loosing my children. Has anyone lost due to cot death and gone on to have more how did you cope?