A Poem of Hope: I Didn't Know

My daughter was born at 28 weeks, 3 days in March this past year due to severe pre-eclampsia.  She is our beautiful miracle and there isn't a day that goes by that I reflect on how proud I am of her for her incredible strength. She is the greatest joy of our lives and a true miracle in every way.

We are so thankful for our NICU journey and I wrote a poem describing the feelings we had while she was in the NICU and how we feel now.  I wrote this the week she came home after spending 51 days in the NICU and I haven't had the courage to share it until now. I hope this can give someone hope throughout their journey and to know they're not alone with the emotions and heart ache you are feeling. Our NICU journey was the most challenging part of our lives, but also the most beautiful.

I Didn't Know

I didn't know you would come so early

You'd come in March instead of June

Our hearts filled with fear and joy at your first cry

We hoped you be home soon

I didn't know how much I would love you

the instant that we met

how proud I was to be your Mom,

finding strength in every test

I didnt know how to come home without you

my heart filled with guilt and grief.

an empty crib at my bedside

while you slept among wires and beeps

I didnt know how tiny you'd be

or how my arms would long to hold you

wearing share squares every day

so you would know I was always with you

I didnt know that I would hold you all day

snuggled in kangaroo care

and I'd wear that shirt all day and night,

your scent I needed to wear

I didnt know my heart would race with every A & B

I'd cry because I felt so scared

at home how would it be?

7 weeks, 51 days, 73,000 minutes

yearning to be with you behind glass

I didnt know how fast you'd grow

and that these days would soon be past

Now I know what we've been through's

made us closer, our bond is so unique

you wont remember the days we spent waiting,

but we look back just to think

what once seemed impossible

is now the dream we live every day

endless snuggles, smiles, and laughter

fill our hearts in every way

we're thankful for this journey

and all the nurses, family who cared

we witnessed miracles every day

and have hope for families who are still there

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