“You never know how strong you are, until being strong is your only choice.”

First thank you so much everyone, for the well wishes and congratulations, we love and appreciate you all so much and we are blessed to have you in our lives.

An update— Kennidy is doing well and her blood sugars are stabilizing and she has been able to make tons of progress weaning off her iv supplements and her feeds have been great. Pray that she continues forward with the tremendous progress she’s made since she was born, we want nothing more than for her to be healthy and home. It’s going to be a long journey from here either way.

If you asked me and Greg two days ago we never would have thought we would have a 34 week baby in the NICU while we were sent home because of the virus and the policies that are in place, in a hospital that’s basically on lock down. Only one of us can visit her at a time, we cannot even wait in the waiting room for each other, one of goes in the other sits outside in the car to wait their turn. I never thought I would be in a hospital with security at every door and elevator screening you and asking you why you’re here, never mind escorting you through the front doors while they pre screen you outside. We literally have no idea what the policy will be at the hospital on a day to day basis. We were there for three days and each day things got more intense.

Now we sit here wondering if going to visit every day, walking through a hospital with hundreds of sick people in and out, walking around us and touching what we touch and risking the exposure of Covid19 to her and every one else is the right thing to do.

We don’t know how one would normally handle this because this isn’t normal. We were robbed of a support team and what should have been a beautiful experience because people in this world are insane. Doctors are on edge, interactions are cut short, care is baseline because there is so much overload.

This morning in the NICU some one stole a box of masks. From the NICU people. How disgusting can we be? It’s so bad that people have to steal medical supplies? That’s the only floor in the hospital that has adequate medical protection is the NICU and now people are stealing gloves and masks, I mean we’re talking boxes. It’s to the point where doctors have to wear and rewear masks for days in other units. I don’t know what the answer is but it’s not this, or anything that I witnessed over the last three days.

I am tired, My husband  is tired. I’ve slept a collective total of maybe 4 hours. Be nice to one another, if it’s the only thing you do, because Friday I went in for a regular routine appointment and within an hour our lives were completely flipped and thrown into a storm of unknown. I pray for anyone in this situation and for healthy to term deliveries for all the pregnant women during this time. I wish this on no one, not even my worst enemy, because nothing feels right when your babies aren’t home.