I found out I was pregnant on January 7th 2021. At all of my appointments everything looked great and seemed just normal. At my ob appointment for 27 weeks my measurements were off and my ob let it slide with the thought that I may have a smaller birth weight baby due to a previous weight loss surgery I had had. Then at 29 weeks I was still measuring off. I was still growing but I was off by 2 weeks at each appointment. My ob finally decided to schedule a growth ultrasound that I had Friday July 16th 2021. At that point I knew something was wrong when all of my sweet girls measurements were almost a month behind schedule. That following Monday I recieved a call asking me to go straight to my delivery hospital for more testing where I was told that not only was my baby measuring around 27 to 28 weeks when I was over 31 weeks at that point but that there was an issue with her umbilical cord and placenta and I was warned to be prepared for an emergency c section within the next week! I couldn't believe it I was only 31 weeks and 4 days at this point not to mention my girl was measuring so far behind.

 I was sent to see a fetal specialist 2 hours away from home. I went to that appointment on Wednesday the 21st to learn that I had absent end diastolic flow and that my baby wasn't getting what she needed to grow on top of having been diagnosed with IUGR. I was also told I wouldn't be leaving the hospital until my baby was born and at that time they were hoping to keep her in until I hit 34 weeks which was still 2 weeks away. I had been battling antenatal depression through my pregnancy and all this roller coaster news was just to much and I was having the hardest time coping while I laid in that bed strapped up to monitor my baby not knowing what was going to happen. On Friday the 23rd of July in the morning I had another ultrasound to see if the AEDF had improved and unfortunately it had not so an emergency c section was scheduled. My sweet girl was born Friday the 23rd weighing 2 lbs 5 oz 13.5 inches long. All of the doctors were surprised when low and behold she came out screaming albeit much quieter due to her size.

As of tomorrow she will have been in the nicu for 4 weeks and is now off of all help and has started working on bottles. She's weighing 2 lbs 12 oz after having gotten down to 1lb 14 oz after losing weight those first few days after birth. At this point she needs to gain weight and then pass the car seat test and she should be able to finally come home. But of course I'm so anxious to finally have her home with me and I don't want to get my hopes up to much and then have them crushed if we have to stake a step back due to some setback.  In just the 1 month that I've been going to see her I've seen so many babies come and go from the nicu and I'm so envious even though I anxiously await my turn. I'm thankful that she came out fighting and healthy just small, and I know some parents have a much more harrowing nicu journey than mine but it's so wonderful to put my story out there to other parents that know exactly what kinds of feelings you go through having a baby in the nicu.

Thanks for reading if you made it through my long winded essay :)