Hello and welcome to share. I'm so sorry for the loss of your sweet Lydia! I'm so glad you got those bittersweet moments with her, I know you'll cherish those for your whole life. I'm so sorry for the insensitivity of your work. Take all the time that you need, up to and including the full maternity leave if you are able to swing it, or longer if you can swing that. Maternity leave is meant also for allowing your body to heal from everything that it goes through during pregnancy and delivery. And for you, time to come to terms with having to say goodbye, something that should never happen to any mother. We lost our twin girls while stationed overseas almost nine and a half years ago, after going through fertility treatments to get them. I had a similar issue with insensitivity from my bosses but only once I had gone back to work. Do you have a support system where you are stationed? Close friends, or even maybe family nearby? If not, would travelling to them be an option for while he is deployed? I'm so sorry at the prospect of him having to deploy for such a long time so soon after saying goodbye to Lydia. It just sucks for both of you. I wish I could come give you a big hug!
Sending love and hugs and wishing moments of peace for you.