My sweet Kaelyn

When I first found out I was pregnant, I went to a Women's Resource Center and they gave me a due date based off of the calendar. A couple weeks later I come back for an ultrasound and they pushed back my due date, which can be normal. Then a few weeks later, I go to my first OB appointment. My OB pushed my due date back even more. He told me not to worry and said I could have the wrong date for my last menstrual cycle. That was highly unlikely because I track my cycle using an app but I didn't think much of it. I was officially due December 30, 2019.

From then up until I was 18 weeks, my pregnancy was pretty normal. I decided to get AFP testing done. The result levels were high so they sent me to a maternal fetal specialist. They did another ultrasound and they said that everything was normal, except that our baby was measuring 3 weeks smaller than she should be. We did some genetic testing and everything came back normal so they told us that we will continue coming back for routine ultrasounds to check her growth. I had multiple visits. Each time she had grown some, but not as much as she should have. She kept falling more and more behind on growth and no one could figure out why. We did every genetic test possible, yet everything came back normal. The specialist told me that I have to come to terms with the fact that my baby won't make it to full term, or if she does she might not make it because she is so small. When I was 27 weeks, they estimated that she was 10 oz.

It was really hard to enjoy my pregnancy because I was so scared. No one knew what was going to happen. Didn't know if she was going to live or die. Didn't know if she was going to be sick. I was happy to have her but scared to lose her. I decided against having a baby shower. I didn't want people to waste their money.

At 29 weeks, I started to have Braxton Hicks. I wasn't too worried because they are normal and I had an appointment the next day. On October 17, 2019, I went to see my specialist for a normal growth check. The first thing they said was that I had lost a lot of fluid and her head was down. Then they went to check for a heartbeat and it wasn't there. My heart shattered into a million pieces. Couple hours later I was induced and a few hours after that I gave birth to my beautiful baby girl. We named her Kaelyn Olivia. She was only 12 ounces and 10 1/2 inches long. I don't understand why she had to be taken from us. We did any additional genetic testing on Kaelyn and with my placenta but they came back normal. I guess we don't get to know what happened or what caused this. Luckily, I have the greatest support system. If it weren't for my boyfriend and family, I don't know what I would do. We're hoping that one day we get our rainbow baby.

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