Exercising after Baby Loss

I'm really struggling with trying to get fit and lose weight after the death of our baby. I gave birth to our Jane on April 19th, 2020 at 34 weeks. She died from complications to Lissencephaly, a severe brain disorder, on April 21st. I was maintaining a healthy weight all through pregnancy until the last month when I gained a little more because of Shelter in Place.

 

Now its been over 3 months since we lost her and I've been trying to lose the baby weight so I can be healthy for another pregnancy. I lost 10 pounds pretty quickly during the first month of working out, but it has since plateaued and my weight has been yo-yoing. Losing 2lbs one week and gaining it back the next.

 

Working out feels good most days, but I get sad when I stare at my closet and still can't wear most of my pre-pregnancy clothes. 

I also spend every other workout crying because I feel like if I had been healthier before I was pregnant, maybe Jane would be alive today. I just feel like my body wasn't healthy enough to keep Jane alive and I want it to be as healthy as it can be for future children. 


Our doc said we can start trying to conceive in 3 months (6 months after Jane) but I want to be fit and healthy. I just feel like a failure because I can't lose the weight.

 

Any encouragement or advice is welcome.

Thank you,

Sarah

1 Reply

  • I am currently on the track to get back to my pre-pregnancy weight. When I am out hiking, I often cry and talk to my daughter. I feel like I could have had a better diet when I was carrying her, but the girl would only let me eat chicken nuggets and fries :) She did pass because I had a kidney stone, which I had surgery for and discovered that the type of stone is related to diet. If I had known, I would have made all the right decisions. I feel guilty that I failed her. I'm now following a kidney stone prevention diet so that I can have another, but I feel so guilty. Just be kind to yourself, and I highly recommend long long long walks.
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