Hello everyone,

My name is Alexis and I’m 24 from MD. I’ve been feeling very lost and alone and hoped I could connect with others who have too been through the same as me. At 21 I found out I was pregnant. At first I was shocked and scared, but my boyfriend, family and friends rallied around me. I was so happy, even through all the morning sickness and even went to a company to find out my baby’s gender as soon as I could. I was having a baby girl, Peyton Hope. My world was absolutely complete now and I couldn’t wait for October 25, 2019. I went to one of my monthly appointments thinking everything was a routine check up until they could not find her heart beat. The next sequence of events have changed my life forever. The doctor I had, had no bedside manners and showed me Peyton on the ultrasound screen, pointed to her heart and said it’s not beating. That is when my whole heart shattered. I knew my greatest gift was gone and I would forever be changed. I ended up having a procedure done bc I could not fathom the thought of giving birth and not bringing my baby home. This new hospital i was at though has amazing and supportive staff that I will forever be grateful for unlike the other one. I still struggle so much with Peyton’s loss and play over and over what could of went wrong at 25 weeks. I see an amazing therapist now and she’s helped so much with the grief process, but I still feel so off some days. I want to start a family soon, but so scared of the possibilities